When you’re in a new relationship, it’s exciting to want to spend as much time together as possible. However, as the relationship progresses, you may wonder what the “normal” frequency is for seeing your significant other. There’s no one right answer, as each couple has different needs and schedules. However, there are some general guidelines that can help you determine if you’re seeing your boyfriend a healthy amount.
In the Early Stages (Less than 6 Months)
When you first start dating someone, it’s very common to want to see them multiple times per week. This allows you to get to know each other, establish physical intimacy, and determine compatibility. According to surveys, most couples see each other 1-3 times per week in the first 6 months. Key factors include:
- Newness – Everything is exciting when it’s brand new.
- Availability – You likely don’t live together, so you arrange dates when possible.
- Creating Bonding Opportunities – Doing activities together strengthens your connection.
In these beginning stages, seeing each other once during the week and once on the weekend (2 times total) is fairly average. Some couples have very packed schedules and can only manage once per week. Others who live close by or have open schedules may see each other 3-4 times per week.
Frequency Guidelines for Early Stage Dating:
| Times per Week | Evaluation |
|---|---|
| 1-2 | Average |
| 3-4 | Frequent |
| 5+ | Very Frequent |
As long as you’re both happy with the amount of time you spend together, there’s no correct amount. Some couples hit it off immediately and spend most of their free time together right from the start.
After 6-12 Months
In the next phase of a relationship, you’ve established that you like each other enough to keep dating. You should have a decent grasp on compatibility. Now the goal is to integrate your lives together more. You’ll want to:
- Meet each other’s friends and family
- Figure out communication and conflict resolution
- Discuss future goals
- Increase intimacy and affection
Couples at the 6-12 month point typically see each other 2-3 times per week. It’s common to have a standing date night or weekend sleepover tradition. You might start spending time together with overlapping friend groups. The frequency may decrease slightly from the early months as the nervous excitement settles.
Frequency Guidelines for 6-12 Month Stage:
| Times per Week | Evaluation |
|---|---|
| 1-2 | Lower End of Average |
| 2-3 | Average |
| 3-4 | Frequent |
At this stage, seeing each other once a week would be considered on the low end. But every couple is unique. If you both have demanding jobs or live far apart, once a week may be what’s realistic. The key is open communication about needs and expectations.
1-2 Year Mark
By now, you should have established a deeper connection and be considering longer-term plans. With increased comfort and intimacy, couples tend to see each other 2-4 times per week at the 1-2 year mark. Typical characteristics include:
- More time at each other’s apartments
- Holidays and special events together
- Vacations as a couple
- Deeper knowledge of each other’s lives
Seeing each other almost daily or multiple times most days reflects a very committed relationship at this stage. But for couples on different life paths or with clashing attachments styles, the frequency may be closer to once a week.
Frequency Guidelines for 1-2 Year Stage:
| Times per Week | Evaluation |
|---|---|
| 1-2 | Lower End of Average |
| 2-4 | Average |
| 5-7 | Very Connected |
At this point, most couples have an idea of whether they want the relationship to go the distance. If you still only see each other once a week, it may reflect subconscious doubts or practical barriers preventing greater closeness.
2+ Years and Cohabitating
When you’ve been together over 2 years and decide to move in together, you naturally spend more time together. Cohabitating couples tend to see each other 5-7 days per week. Common patterns include:
- Most nights sleeping over
- Daily check-ins and communications
- Regular socializing as a couple
- Many shared responsibilities
Of course, just because you live together doesn’t mean you’re attached at the hip 24/7. It’s healthy to maintain friendships, hobbies and activities outside the relationship. But most of your free time is spent together when sharing a home.
Frequency Guidelines for Cohabitating Couples:
| Times per Week | Evaluation |
|---|---|
| 3-4 | Lower End of Average |
| 5-6 | Average |
| 7 | Very Connected |
Only seeing your live-in boyfriend 3-4 days a week would be considered unusual. If you need a lot of alone time, it may reflect doubts about the future. Daily check-ins are normal for couples sharing space.
Conclusion
When evaluating how often you should see your boyfriend, there’s no magic number that applies to every couple. Early on, 1-3 times per week is average. After 6-12 months, 2-3 times is common. By 1-2 years, couples tend to see each other 2-4 times per week and even more frequently if cohabitating.
The most important factors are that you both feel happy with the amount of time you spend together, you’re able to maintain outside interests, and you’re progressing intimacy in a healthy way. Any dramatically differing expectations should be discussed. Sometimes life circumstances limit the amount of time you can spend together, and flexibility is required. But in general, the frequency should increase the more committed the relationship becomes.