A casual relationship, sometimes referred to as a casual dating relationship or a friends with benefits situation, is a physical and emotional relationship between two people who want to keep it casual with no serious commitment or long-term obligations. People enter into these arrangements for a variety of reasons, but a major defining factor is that there is no expectation of exclusivity or longevity. So how long do these types of casual relationships typically last? There are a few key factors that influence the lifespan of a casual relationship.
Definition of a Casual Relationship
Before exploring how long casual relationships last, it’s helpful to fully define what constitutes a casual relationship:
- No commitment or expectation of exclusivity
- More flexible, unstructured approach to spending time together
- Focus is more on having fun and companionship vs. building a serious romantic bond
- Can include sexual intimacy but emotional intimacy is limited
- Often referred to as “friends with benefits” or a “no strings attached” arrangement
- Either person can pursue other partners/relationships
- Less integration into each other’s lives (meeting friends, family, etc.)
- No set expectations for frequency of contact or dates
Essentially, a casual relationship is one with no formal commitment or expectation of longevity. With that context in mind, let’s explore some of the factors that influence how long these flexible arrangements last.
Fluid, Varying Timelines
Unlike a committed romantic relationship, a casual relationship does not tend to follow a predictable trajectory or set stages. The duration can vary substantially depending on the individuals involved and their personal circumstances over time. Some casual relationships may last for years, others may only span a few weeks or months. According to one survey, the average casual relationship lasts about 8 months, but that figure can fluctuate widely.
Here are some examples of how long a casual dating relationship may last:
- A few weeks to hookup
- A summer fling
- A friends with benefits arrangement for several months during college
- An ongoing but intermittent hookup for a year or two
- A consistent casual dating relationship for multiple years
The timeline depends on the needs, availability, and interest level of both people involved. Some key factors that influence this include:
Availability and Interest Levels
If one or both people travel frequently for work or have other major commitments, that can limit the duration a casual relationship is maintained. Waning romantic or physical interest over time can also lead to its natural end. But if both parties remain interested and available, they may continue seeing each other indefinitely.
Start of a Committed Relationship
Often, one person meets someone they want to date seriously and will end the casual relationship in order to pursue a committed bond. Or the casual partners may realize they want to be exclusive.
Major Life Changes
Things like moving, changing jobs, going through a divorce, having a baby, or other significant lifestyle changes can impact the duration of a casual dating relationship.
Disinterest in Commitment
Some people want to stay committed-free indefinitely and are able to maintain casual relationships for years. As long as both partners want to keep things light and unattached, a casual situation has no predetermined expiration date.
Average Duration
While casual relationships have a wide duration range, researchers have tried to determine an average lifespan. According to a survey conducted by sex toy brand LELO, the average friends with benefits relationship lasts about 8 months. However, other surveys have found spans ranging from about 3 to 16 months.
So while eight months may be a typical duration, there are definitely many exceptions on both sides of that figure. The lifespan depends much more on the unique circumstances of the two people involved than any standard timeline.
Typical Breakup Reasons
When a casual relationship does run its course, there are a few common reasons:
Pursuing a Committed Relationship
Often the end of a casual relationship comes when one partner meets someone they want to date seriously. The new potential for commitment changes the dynamic.
Romantic Feelings Develop
Even without interest in another partner, one or both people may catch romantic feelings, which can complicate a casual arrangement intended to be void of deeper emotion.
Change of Interest or Availability
For any number of reasons, from losing physical attraction to having incompatible schedules, one partner may lose interest in continuing the casual relationship.
Poor Communication
A lack of clear communication upfront and checking in on the status of the relationship over time can lead to misunderstandings and hurt feelings that bring things to an end.
Wanting More Commitment
Often one partner starts wanting more than the other in terms of exclusivity, time commitment, or priority in each other’s lives. Differing wants can spell the demise of these loosely defined relationships.
Physical Separation
Relocation for school, work, or other reasons often dissolves a casual dating relationship out of necessity. Though sometimes they can manage long distance for a period of time.
Personal Problems
Issues like mental health struggles, financial difficulties, family emergencies, or substance abuse can interfere with maintaining a casual relationship.
So while the average casual relationship may last about 8 months, there are many variables that impact an individual relationship’s longevity. The most important factors are the initial expectations, ongoing availability and interest, life changes, and whether romantic feelings get involved. Open communication also helps clearly define the relationship parameters throughout.
Making It Last
For people happy with the casual dynamic, there are some tips that can help extend the relationship timeline:
- Set clear ground rules and expectations upfront
- Maintain open and direct communication
- Make an effort to keep things fun and lighthearted
- Accept that it likely has an expiration date eventually
- Discuss how you will handle either starting new relationships
- Check in periodically about mutual interest and changing needs
- Respect each other’s boundaries and lives outside the relationship
Following these guidelines can optimize the enjoyment and minimize the drama of a casual dating relationship. Though its duration remains subject to change over time as the needs and availability of both partners naturally evolve.
The End Goal
Casual relationships offer flexibility, companionship, and fun without major commitment. But the lack of seriousness means one or both people are likely to move on eventually when circumstances change. So it’s wise to appreciate a casual relationship for what it is in the moment versus assuming indefinite longevity. With the right communication and expectations, a casual relationship can be maintained for months or even years. But most run their course within about 3 to 16 months. Rather than trying to force it to last, it may be healthier to simply enjoy the dynamic while it does, then move forward when it naturally winds down. Open communication, clear ground rules, and mutual respect are key to making a casual relationship last for a mutually satisfying period of time.
Conclusion
Casual dating relationships have no set duration, with many factors influencing their lifespan. On average, they tend to last around 8 months, but could be as short as a few weeks or as long as several years depending on the people and circumstances involved. While the timeline is fluid, establishing open communication, clear expectations, and mutual respect can extend a casual relationship. But it’s wise to appreciate it for what it is in the moment and accept its impermanent nature to avoid unnecessary disappointment when it eventually does run its course. With the right mindset and supportive behaviors, a casual relationship can be enjoyed for its intended purpose during whatever time it naturally lasts.