Discovering that your partner is having an affair can be extremely painful and distressing. However, there are often signs that can indicate whether a woman is sleeping with someone else. In this article, we will explore some of the main ways to know if your girlfriend or wife is cheating on you.
Changes in Behavior and Routine
One of the most common signs of infidelity is when your partner’s normal routine and behaviors suddenly change. For example:
- She starts dressing differently, wearing sexier clothes, more makeup, etc.
- Her daily schedule changes for unexplained reasons
- She is suddenly working late more often
- She goes out with friends more frequently
- She picks up new hobbies or interests
When a woman is sleeping with another man, she may change her normal routines to accommodate meeting up with her lover. Look for any unusual or unexplained changes in her typical schedule, habits, interests, etc. Dramatic shifts like these can indicate she’s focused on someone else.
Secrecy and Increased Privacy
Another sign is when your partner suddenly becomes more private and secretive. For instance:
- She changes passwords on her phone and computer so you can’t access them
- She keeps her phone with her at all times and guards it closely
- She deletes call, text, chat history, or her web browsing history
- She ducks into another room to take calls
- She becomes jumpy or defensive when you ask who she’s talking to
When a woman is hiding communication with her lover, she will often take measures to increase her privacy from you. Sudden secretiveness like this indicates she’s intentionally keeping something from you.
Less Interest in Intimacy
Most women who are cheating experience a decline in sexual interest in their primary partner. Signs may include:
- She stops initiating sex
- She makes excuses to avoid intimacy
- She seems distracted or somewhere else during lovemaking
- She takes a sudden interest in trying new sexual techniques or toys (learned from her affair partner)
Keep in mind that decreased intimacy doesn’t always mean infidelity – factors like stress or medical conditions can also be culprits. But if your formerly passionate partner is now disinterested in sex for no clear reason, cheating could be an explanation.
Picking Fights and Increased Irritability
The guilt and stress of juggling an affair can cause women to take out their emotions on their main partner. Watch for:
- She picks fights over small issues
- She seems irritable or short-tempered with you
- She provokes arguments, then storms out
- She accuses you of things you didn’t do
Women having affairs may misdirect anger about their secret relationships onto you. Any major change in her mood or temperament, particularly more frequent criticism of you, could indicate infidelity.
Talks About Other Men More Frequently
Women who are cheating often unconsciously insert mentions of other men into conversations. Things to listen for include:
- She brings up a male friend, coworker, or past lover when he’s irrelevant to the discussion
- She finds excuses to mention interactions with other men
- She frequently discusses what men find attractive
- She talks abstractly about wanting more attention or excitement
Her mind is centered on thoughts of other potential partners, so they unknowingly slip into her dialogue. Increased mentions of other men could betray wandering desires.
Disappearing Cash or Financial Secrecy
Pursuing an affair often costs money, so watch if your partner:
- Takes out unexplained cash from your accounts
- Hides bank or credit card statements from you
- Uses alternate credit cards you don’t know about
- Covers money trails by saying funds are for friends/family
Lavishing gifts, hotels, meals, and travel on a mistress can strain a cheating woman’s finances. Any sketchy money activity like this could fund an under-the-radar affair.
Grooming and Appearance Changes
If your partner is focused on attracting a new lover, her beauty regimen may change:
- She gets in better physical shape, loses weight, starts toning up at the gym
- She pays more attention to her physical appearance – new hairstyle, wardrobe, lingerie, etc.
- She upgrades her beauty routine – teeth whitening, spray tans, body waxing, cosmetic procedures
Making an effort to enhance her appeal doesn’t always equate to cheating. But if your partner’s grooming and appearance improve for no clear reason, it could be for someone else’s viewing pleasure.
Emotional Distance and Secretive Phone/Computer Use
Two classic signs of infidelity are:
- Your partner withdraws emotionally from you and your relationship
- Your partner spends time on their phone/computer being secretive about what they’re doing
Cheating causes detachment, as the unfaithful partner invests energy into their affair. Plus, phones and computers facilitate secret communication with affair partners. Both of these signs in combination indicate cheating.
Less Interest in Time with You
A woman engaged in an affair will make less time for her main partner. Look for:
- She avoids or declines date nights, couples activities, and family events
- She claims to be too busy with work, hobbies, friends, or family obligations
- She attends fewer social outings where you’ll both be present
- She neglects home, chores, and other family responsibilities
Cheating women pour their time and energy into the new relationship. If your partner is suddenly too busy for you and finding excuses not to be present, she may be occupied with someone else.
Catching Her in Lies
A dishonest woman may get caught in small lies related to where she’s been, who she was with, etc:
- She says she was working late, but you know she left work hours earlier
- She says she was at a friend’s house, but the friend says they didn’t see her
- She says she had errands to run, but can’t provide any details
Pinning your partner in obvious or provable lies suggests she’s covering up times spent with her affair partner. Dishonesty is a red flag for cheating.
Deflection and Blame-Shifting
When confronted, an unfaithful woman may try to flip the tables by:
- Denying accusations and getting extremely upset/angry when questioned
- Turning questions back on you – “Why don’t you trust me?”, “Where is this coming from?”
- Suggesting jealousy, possessiveness, or insecurity on your part
- Saying you’re imagining things or making mountains out of molehills
Deflecting and shifting blame prevents having to address what she’s doing. Beware if simple inquiries turn into accusations that you’re the problem.
Intuition and “Gut Feelings”
Many people intuitively sense when a partner is cheating, even without solid evidence. Pay attention if:
- Something feels “off” in your interactions and relationship
- You have nagging suspicions, worries, and doubts
- You subconsciously pick up on signs of detachment or dishonesty
Your intuition may detect subtle clues and know something’s amiss before your conscious mind does. That inexplicable “gut feeling” that your partner is cheating can be your subconscious signaling infidelity.
Signs of a New Romance
Common behaviors of a woman in a new romance include:
- Constantly texting, calling, messaging someone new
- Sneaking off to talk to them for long periods
- Having inside jokes and references
- Snapping photos together and sharing via social media
- Having flirty body language when together
- Giggling together frequently
If you spot your partner exhibiting “new relationship energy” with someone else, it likely indicates an affair is blossoming.
Unexplained Absences
Your partner may schedule blocks of time to meet up with her affair partner:
- Taking off work early without reason
- Going for long and random “errands”
- Disappearing for hours with no explanation
- Weekend getaways, vacations, or overnight trips alone
Any prolonged absences where she can’t account for her time could be spent secretly rendezvousing with her lover.
Evidence of an Affair
You may uncover direct proof of cheating such as:
- Seeing flirty texts, emails, DMs, photos exchanged with another man
- Noticing charges for gifts, trips, hotels she didn’t mention
- Finding a secret phone or second phone number
- Catching them together firsthand
This type of tangible evidence removes any doubt that an affair is happening. If you discover indisputable clues, confront your partner immediately.
Trust Your Instincts
If you sense something suspicious in your relationship, don’t ignore it. Even if you don’t have concrete proof, trust your gut feelings. Initiate an open and honest dialogue with your partner to discuss your concerns. Approach the conversation gently and avoid making accusations. If she’s truly faithful, she will provide reasonable explanations or work to regain your trust. Approach the situation positively, but remain resolute about expressing your worries. With effective communication, you can get to the bottom of any doubts and address underlying issues in your relationship.