How do men feel after release?

For many men, the feeling after ejaculation can range from satisfaction and relaxation to disappointment or frustration depending on the context. Understanding the physical, mental, and emotional factors involved can help men have a more enjoyable experience.

Table of Contents

The Physical Response

Physically, when a man has an orgasm, his body goes through a series of responses:

Muscle contractions – During ejaculation, muscles throughout the body contract, including in the penis, prostate, rectum and perineum. These involuntary contractions propel semen through the urethra.
Change in heart rate – Heart rate and blood pressure increase during arousal and peak at orgasm before returning to normal.
Flushed skin – Increased blood flow during arousal causes flushed skin, particularly on the chest.

Release of tension – The buildup of tension from arousal finds release at orgasm, resulting in relaxation of the muscles.

Additionally, the brain releases chemicals and hormones including dopamine, oxytocin, endorphins, prolactin, serotonin and others. This cocktail of neurotransmitters is responsible for the intense pleasure and feel-good emotions men experience during orgasm.

After ejaculation, the penis becomes less erect and sensitive as blood flows back out of the area and muscles relax. Men enter a refractory period where they cannot achieve another erection immediately. This recovery phase varies but may be from several minutes to over an hour depending on the individual.

Mental and Emotional Response

The mental and emotional response after orgasm depends on many factors:

Sexual experience – First sexual experiences may involve feelings of excitement, embarrassment, pride or even shame. As men gain experience, responses tend to be more relaxed and confident.
Partner involvement – Orgasms from intercourse or partnered stimulation often feel more intimate than from masturbation. Emotions may involve a sense of connection.

Relationship factors – In healthy sexual relationships, orgasms are associated with positive emotions of caring, satisfaction and wellbeing. In unhealthy relationships, they may produce guilt, emptiness or low self-esteem.
Situational factors – Orgasms in adventurous, spontaneous or taboo situations are perceived differently than routine sexual encounters.
Cultural/religious beliefs – Upbringing plays a role, with some men feeling shame or inhibition around sex.

Hormones – Hormone levels, particularly testosterone, affect sex drive and the degree of satisfaction from orgasm.
Mood – Mood and stress levels before sex can impact the emotions and pleasure experienced during and after.
Expectations – Unrealistic expectations of performance or partners can lead to disappointment after sex.

Understanding these factors provides insight into why reactions may differ between individuals or situations. Open communication with partners improves the overall experience.

Common Emotional Responses

Some typical emotional responses men may experience after orgasm include:

Satisfaction and relaxation – Most men feel pleasure, satisfaction and contentment after orgasm. Release of tension leads to relaxation.

Fatigue – Many men feel tired after sex due to the exertion of activity and release of tension. A nap after sex is common.
Emotional intimacy – When sex occurs in a loving relationship, warmth and intimacy towards a partner is common.
Confidence – Positive sexual experiences boost confidence in virility and performance ability.

Motivation – After rest, some men experience increased energy, motivation and creativity from sex.
Irritability – In some cases, low hormone levels after orgasm lead to irritability, impatience or restlessness.
Sadness – Some men experience transient sadness after sex, possibly related to hormone changes.

Anxiety – Stress around sexual performance may heighten anxiety.
Guilt – Cultural or religious taboos around sexuality can cause guilt.
Loss of interest – After orgasm, interest in sex dissipates during the refractory period.

While wide variation exists, the most commonly reported emotions are satisfaction, relaxation, fatigue and sometimes transient sadness. Negative emotions or emotional distancing are concerning and may indicate an unhealthy relationship dynamic or personal views requiring further examination.

Impact on Relationships

A man’s emotional response after sex often impacts his partner and the relationship dynamic. Some key points include:

If a man expresses or exhibits negative emotions after sex, such as anger, his partner may feel hurt, rejected or shamed.

Partners need reassurance, intimacy and communication after sex, which requires emotional availability from the man.
Fatigue or loss of interest after orgasm may leave the partner feeling abandoned or unsatisfied.
Lack of emotional intimacy or engagement from a male partner can damage the relationship over time.

If expectations around sex differ between partners, it can lead to disappointment and resentment on both sides.

Ideally, couples engage in open communication about needs, limitations, emotions and relationship dynamics affecting their sexual relationships. With understanding and attentiveness to each other’s feelings, they can maintain a strong emotional bond.

Coping with Challenging Emotions

If men frequently experience negative emotions or a sense of emotional distance from their partners after sex, some steps they can take include:

Examining personal views about sex that may be causing reactions like shame or guilt.
Discussing relationship issues contributing to emotions like anger, sadness or anxiety after sex.
Communicating openly with partners about needs and emotional responses.

Addressing medical or hormonal problems that may be affecting sex drive and satisfaction.
Reducing stress and improving overall mental health and wellbeing.
Practicing mindfulness and staying present during sexual experiences.

Seeking counseling (individually or as a couple) to work through sexual issues.

While some fluctuation in emotions is normal, ongoing dissatisfaction or distress related to sexual experiences merits further evaluation. Counseling can help address personal and relationship factors contributing to negative emotions after sex.

Ways to Promote Positive Experiences

Some tips to help men have more positive experiences and emotions after sexual release include:

Let go of expectations and be present in each sexual experience, rather than comparing or judging.
Focus on giving and receiving pleasure rather than perfect performance.
Express appreciation to partners and cuddle after sex to maintain intimacy.

Talk openly with partners about feelings and relationship dynamics related to sex.
Make sufficient time for sex when rested rather than squeezing it in when tired or stressed.
Balance sexual frequencies to avoid boredom on one extreme or frustration on the other.

Remain patient, understanding and communicative as partners navigate changing libidos.
Discuss trying new sexual activities together to maintain novelty and excitement.

Remember that some variability in response is normal. Being attentive to partners’ needs and sustaining emotional intimacy leads to the most satisfying and fulfilling sexual relationships for both men and women.

The Bottom Line

While physical responses after orgasm are relatively consistent, the associated emotions can vary based on personal experiences, cultural factors and relationship dynamics. Men may feel emotions ranging from relaxation to elation or frustration to shame. Understanding the causes enables addressing issues. Open communication, lowering expectations and practicing mindfulness promote more positive sexual experiences. Emotional availability and engagement with partners also leads to improved intimacy and overall relationships.