A “drifter” is someone who moves from place to place without any clear direction or purpose. Drifters tend to be rootless and unattached, lacking meaningful connections to people or places. Detecting whether someone might be a drifter requires paying attention to certain signs and behaviors. While some drifters are simply free-spirits seeking adventure, in other cases drifting could signal more serious issues like addiction, mental illness or a desire to escape responsibilities. Being attentive to red flags can help you discern if someone in your life might be drifting.
Lack of Stable Residence
One of the clearest signs of a drifter is a lack of stable housing. Frequent moves and temporary living situations like crashing on a friend’s couch can indicate someone is drifting.
Some questions to consider:
– Does this person switch homes or apartments frequently?
– Do they tend to stay in a place for less than a few months?
– Do they lack a permanent address you can reliably contact them at?
– Do they often couch surf or stay with various friends/relatives for short periods?
If the answer to some of these questions is yes, it likely signals a drifter. Stable housing and putting down roots are not priorities for them.
No Regular Job
Drifters also tend not to hold down regular jobs or careers. They may work sporadic side gigs or under-the-table jobs like waiting tables, construction, etc. But drifters are unlikely to have a consistent full-time job that provides stability.
Consider:
– Is this person usually unemployed or between unsatisfying jobs?
– Do they seem to lack career goals or a sense of direction in their work life?
– Do they go extended periods without steady income?
– Do they frequently quit or get fired from jobs?
Irregular employment and lack of career anchoring are common with drifters. Work is usually treated as temporary and transactional by them.
No Long-Term Goals
Another key sign of a drifter mentality is lacking any clear long-term goals or plans. Whereas most non-drifters have some vision of where they want to be in 1, 5 or 10 years, drifters live life day to day.
Pay attention to whether this person:
– Seems to “go with the flow” without larger ambitions.
– Focuses mostly on immediate needs/wants.
– Can’t describe any future goals or dreams.
– Seems disconnected from their past and future.
This rootless mindset prevents drifters from making concrete plans and working methodically towards a stable future. Their transient lifestyle means they don’t value long-term thinking.
Difficulty Committing to Relationships
Drifters also display a wariness of commitment and intimacy in relationships. Their transient lifestyle means they shy away from deep attachment. This difficulty bonding intimately is a red flag.
Look for signs like:
– They have few, if any, long-term friendships or partners.
– Romantic relationships are fleeting and superficial.
– They avoid introducing partners to family and friends.
– They are cagey about discussing their past and origins.
– They seem to keep people at a distance emotionally.
This lack of rootedness makes it hard for drifters to truly connect. Healthy long-term relationships require commitment – which drifters avoid.
History of Family/Community Instability
In many cases, someone’s tendency to drift has roots in their upbringing and community ties. Traumatic or unstable families can engender a drifter mentality.
Consider:
– Did they move around frequently as a child due to family issues?
– Do they have absent, neglectful or abusive parents?
– Did their family exhibit similar drifting patterns?
– Do they lack any strong community or cultural connections?
This background of broken social bonds creates poor role modeling around stability. It breeds emotional avoidance patterns that feed into drifting in adulthood.
Substance Abuse Problems
Drifters frequently struggle with alcoholism or drug addictions. Substance abuse allows them to avoid pain from their past, while also making commitment tough.
Watch for signs like:
– Regular public intoxication or references to substance use.
– An erratic personality change when using.
– Unexplained injuries or medical issues.
– Legal issues or DUIs related to substance abuse.
– Isolation and secretiveness around their partying.
Addiction makes it far harder for drifters to pursue education, careers and relationships. It also exacerbates mental health challenges.
Mental Health Issues
Various mental health problems can both feed into, and result from, a drifting lifestyle. The isolation and instability of drifting can worsen conditions like depression, anxiety disorders, PTSD and others.
Some potential red flags include:
– Mood or personality shifts, like increased anger, irritability and apathy.
– Statements that suggest depression or low self-worth.
– Heightened nervousness, paranoia or panic attacks.
– Excessive, unexplained fatigue and sleep issues.
– Obvious cuts or scars from self-harm.
Poor mental health diminishes motivation and makes commitment challenging. Unaddressed conditions can fuel self-destructive drifting.
No Interest in Settling Down
In some cases, drifting isn’t linked to trauma or pathology. Some drifters simply embrace a freewheeling lifestyle and have no interest in settling down. They prioritize adventure, novelty and complete freedom.
Signs may include:
– Passionate about travel and new experiences.
– They enjoy risk-taking and pushing boundaries.
– Routine and convention stifle them.
– They bristle at words like commitment, career, mortgage, etc.
For these drifters drifting is a lifestyle choice, not a symptom or something forced. They float wherever impulse and chance take them.
How to Help a Drifter
If you determine someone in your life seems stuck in a drifting pattern, there are some ways you may be able to assist them:
– Help them find professional help for any mental illness or addiction issues. These must be addressed first.
– Introduce stability slowly. Suggest part-time work or subletting for a few months rather than indefinite couch surfing.
– Remind them of their strengths and that they have people who care about them. Isolation exacerbates drifting.
– Don’t enable their impulses. Set boundaries around what you will/won’t provide.
– Encourage reconnecting with any positive family members from their past.
– Avoid pressuring them severely, as they may withdraw if demands seem excessive.
– Demonstrate you are a reliable support, not someone who will abandon them due to their issues. Building trust takes time.
With support, patience and treatment, some drifters can rediscover stability and purpose. Unfortunately, not everyone is ready and able to transition away from a drifting mentality. Letting go of engrained coping mechanisms is difficult. The most you can do is extend compassion to them.
Conclusion
In summary, drifting is a complex phenomenon with many potential causes. There are key signals in someone’s life circumstances, behaviors and attitudes that can reveal if they are struggling with a drifter mentality. While ingrained in some, this mindset results from trauma in many cases. With care, counseling and stability some drifters can find health and purpose. But the inability to commit remains entrenched in others. By understanding the roots of drifting, we can respond to drifters with empathy first, which may enable us to assist their growth.