What does the Bible say about staying away from angry people?
The Bible has a lot to say about anger and being around angry people. Here are some key points:
Proverbs 22:24-25 warns: “Do not make friends with a hot-tempered person, do not associate with one easily angered, or you may learn their ways and get yourself ensnared.” This verse cautions against close relationships with those who are quick to anger, as their behavior can rub off on you.
Proverbs 29:22 states: “An angry person stirs up conflict, and a hot-tempered person commits many sins.” Angry people often create problems and strife through their outbursts.
Ecclesiastes 7:9 says: “Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit, for anger resides in the lap of fools.” Yielding to anger is unwise and foolish.
James 1:19-20 instructs: “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.” As Christians, we are called to be patient and slow to anger.
Overall, the Bible warns that spending time around angry people can influence you to become angry yourself. It’s best to limit influence of continually angry people, while still showing God’s love and grace to them.
Why is it unwise to associate with an angry man?
There are several reasons why it is unwise to closely associate with an angry man:
- You may start to copy his angry behavior and attitudes as they rub off on you over time.
- An angry person often causes strife and conflict that can affect your life.
- He may be physically dangerous when angry and lash out at you.
- The friendship will lack joy, peace and stability.
- He may try to pull you into his anger and manipulate you.
- It goes against Biblical wisdom and commands to avoid anger.
An angry person can deeply influence you and contaminate your spirit if you let him. That toxic anger can spread into your life and affect your moods, relationships and perspective. It’s wise to limit influence of angry people.
How to deal with an angry man in your life
If you already have an angry man in your life, such as a family member, coworker or friend, here are some tips:
- Pray for him and exhibit grace, but set healthy boundaries.
- Avoid engaging in lengthy conversations when he is very angry.
- Kindly suggest anger management counseling or therapy for underlying issues.
- Point him to scriptures about controlling anger.
- Encourage him to walk away if he feels anger swelling up.
- Speak calmly and don’t reciprocate anger, as that will only escalate things.
- Consider involving a pastor or mentor if he is open to accountability.
- Limit time together until the anger issue improves.
The goal should be to address the root issues driving his chronic anger in a caring yet direct way. But also protect yourself from its contagious effects.
How can someone overcome chronic anger issues?
For those struggling with anger issues, here are some tips:
- Seek counseling to understand the source of your anger.
- Identify triggers and learn to manage anger when those happen.
- Take a break from the situation when anger starts swelling up.
- Learn calming techniques like counting to 10, deep breathing or prayer.
- Confess angry outbursts as sin and repent.
- Study Bible verses about controlling your temper.
- Avoid situations and people who spark your anger.
- Write in a journal to process angry feelings in a healthy way.
- Apologize to anyone hurt by your anger and ask accountability.
With God’s power, confession, counseling, and learning to control reactions, an angry person can transform into patience and peace. But it takes perseverance and support.
Bible Verses about Anger Management
Here are some Bible verses that can help someone overcome anger issues:
“Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret–it leads only to evil” (Psalm 37:8).
“My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry” (James 1:19).
“Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him; do not fret when people succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes” (Psalm 37:7).
“Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit, for anger resides in the lap of fools” (Ecclesiastes 7:9).
“The discretion of a man makes him slow to anger, and his glory is to overlook a transgression” (Proverbs 19:11).
“Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger” (James 1:19).
Studying and memorizing these verses can help renew your mindset about anger.
Anger Management Resources
Here are some anger management resources to help overcome chronic anger:
- Anger Management Counseling – Make an appointment with a counselor or psychologist who specializes in anger management techniques like CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy). Many mental health professionals can help you identify the root causes of anger like childhood issues, stress, grief, insecurity, or chemical imbalances. They can equip you with proven ways to calm yourself, think rationally, and communicate effectively.
- Books – Reading books like “Rage: A Step-by-Step Guide to Overcoming Explosive Anger” by Ronald Potter-Efron can give you a structured way to handle anger biblically. Other titles like “Angry All the Time” by Ronald Potter-Efron and “The Cow in the Parking Lot: A Zen Approach to Overcoming Anger” by Leonard Scheff and Susan Edmiston take a thoughtful approach.
- Support Groups – Joining an anger management support group provides the benefit of accountability and being able to share your struggles with others battling the same issues. Many are led by counselors and follow a curriculum of anger coping skills.
- Online Anger Management Courses – Taking an interactive online anger management course is convenient and usually more affordable than one-on-one counseling. National Anger Management Association offers classes teaching anger prevention and conflict resolution.
- Church Counseling – Make an appointment to talk with your pastor or a counselor at your church. They can mentor you through anger issues from a wise, Biblical perspective.
Combining these resources with prayer, Bible study, and avoidance of triggers can help someone conquer destructive anger.
Anger Management Worksheets & Handouts
Using anger management worksheets, handouts and exercises can retrain your mind and reactions. Here are some helpful printable tools:
Anger Log
Keeping an anger log tracks feelings, triggers, behavior and consequences when you get angry. It promotes self awareness of patterns.
| Date | What Triggered Anger? | How Angry Did You Feel? (scale of 1-10) | How Did You React? | What Were the Consequences? |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 10/21 | Yelled at by boss | 9 | Yelled back and slammed door | Fight with boss, feeling ashamed |
| 10/15 | Cut off in traffic | 8 | Honked horn and cursed | Got finger from other driver, embarrassed |
Anger Warning Signs Checklist
Check a list of physical, emotional and behavioral signs when you start feeling angry. It provides self-awareness.
| Physical | Emotional | Behavioral | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Signs of Anger | Clenched fists | Irritability | Sarcastic tone |
| Headache | Anxiety | Avoidance | |
| Flushed face | Resentment | Pacing | |
| Sweating | Bitterness | Raising voice |
Calming Response Plan
Make a plan to use calming, rational techniques when you have anger warning signs:
- Take deep breaths and count to 10
- Visualize a relaxing place like the beach
- Go for a walk to calm down
- Talk it out with a trusted friend
- Pray for patience and peace
- Read Bible verses about controlling anger
Identifying Anger Triggers
Make a list of people, situations or events that tend to trigger your anger frequently:
- Being stuck in traffic
- Fighting with my spouse
- Dealing with long lines
- Noise from neighbors at night
- Yelling from my kids
Being aware of these common triggers can help you prepare to respond calmly.
Tips for Dealing with Others’ Anger
When interacting with angry people, here are some tips:
- Actively listen and validate their feelings.
- Speak gently, don’t raise your voice.
- Suggest taking a break from the heated conversation.
- Look for root issues driving their anger like pain or fear.
- Set healthy boundaries if anger becomes abusive.
- Pray for and encourage professional help if needed.
- Follow Matthew 18 principles in confronting sinfully angry behavior.
The goal is de-escalating conflict, looking for hurting emotions beneath the surface, and promoting growth.
Healthy Anger Expression
Anger becomes sinful when we express it through:
- Verbal insults
- Making threats
- Physical violence
- Revenge
- Lashing out at innocent parties
- Internal rage and bitterness
Healthy anger expression involves:
- Processing feelings alone first
- Praying through anger
- Journaling
- Calm conversation addressing issues
- Seeking accountability and growth
- Moving forward in forgiveness
The goal is resolving issues and honoring others, not venting our own emotions.
Get Accountability for Anger Issues
For those struggling with anger, getting accountability can promote growth including:
- Small group at church focused on anger recovery
- One-on-one counseling with pastor or mature believer
- Recovery support groups like Celebrate Recovery
- Ongoing meetings with a godly mentor
- Download an internet accountability app like Covenant Eyes
- Spouse or close friend checks in regularly
Humility, confession of sin, and opening up to others helps deal with anger from a Christ-centered approach. Recovery takes time but brings hope.
Conclusion
The Bible advises avoiding close relationships and influences of those prone to anger, as it spreads. But it also offers real hope for overcoming chronic anger through godly counsel, accountability, calming practices and Biblical truth. With humility and perseverance, anyone can gain victory over destructive responses. Limiting time with angry people, while showing grace and patience, keeps your spirit peaceful.