Skip to Content

Does looking into someone’s eyes make you like them?


Looking into someone’s eyes can be an intense experience. Eyes are sometimes described as the windows to the soul, suggesting there is meaning and connection behind eye contact. But does maintaining eye contact and gazing into someone’s eyes really make you like that person more? There has been some research exploring this question, so we will examine the evidence.

The Neuroscience Behind Eye Contact

Eye contact lights up certain areas of the brain, which may explain why it can feel stimulating. A 2017 study had participants look at images of faces either with direct eye gaze or averted eyes while lying in an fMRI scanner. Results showed greater activation in the ventral striatum and orbitofrontal cortex – reward regions of the brain – when viewing faces with direct eye contact. Researchers suggest this neural response may indicate eye contact is perceived as rewarding and reinforcing.

There is also evidence that eye contact triggers activation in the dopaminergic reward system. A study in subjects with autism spectrum disorder found reduced activation of reward-related brain regions during eye contact. This supports the idea that eye contact elicits a dopaminergic reward response in neurotypical individuals. Overall, multiple lines of research indicate eye contact triggers activity in reward circuits of the brain. This offers a biological explanation for why people might come to like someone more through sustained, mutual eye gaze.

The Role of Oxytocin

The hormone oxytocin also plays a key role in social bonding and attachment. Direct eye contact has been shown to increase oxytocin levels, which may explain its ability to strengthen liking and feelings of connection.

One study tested the effects of mutual eye contact between romantic partners. Partners gazed into each other’s eyes for two minutes while oxytocin levels were monitored. Results showed significant increases in oxytocin following eye contact compared to the control condition.

Higher oxytocin while viewing faces has also been associated with greater activation in brain regions linked to social cognition and reward. Therefore, oxytocin release during eye contact may modulate social brain systems, further enhancing interpersonal closeness and liking. Through oxytocin and dopamine signaling, eye contact may literally “push our buttons” in ways that strengthen social bonds.

Signals of Attraction and Interest

Eye contact is a prominent signal in flirting and courtship interactions. Studies have found that higher amounts of eye contact and mutual gazing are related to perceived attraction between partners. People also report more romantic or sexual interest when photographed making direct eye contact compared to looking away.

Sustained eye contact and gaze are used across cultures to convey interest, attraction or intimacy. The tendency to engage in mutual gaze likely has evolutionary roots related to assessing mate suitability and reproduction. In this way, eye contact seems embedded in our biology and psychology as an important courtship display.

Increasing Comfort and Familiarity

Positive effects of eye contact have also been documented outside of courtship interactions. Strangers who engage in mutual eye contact report feeling more comfort and social connection than those who avoid eye contact. Even brief darting eye contact between strangers can increase positive feelings.

Across repeated interactions, mutual eye contact helps individuals become more familiar and predictable to each other. This research suggests eye contact facilitates the development of mental models about others, by signaling safety, trustworthiness and interest in interaction. Through familiarity over time, eye contact may thus strengthen interpersonal liking.

Conclusions on Eye Contact and Liking

Multiple research findings converge to suggest eye contact can increase interpersonal liking between individuals, especially during the early stages of connection. Here is a summary of key points:

  • Eye contact activates reward centers in the brain, suggesting it has intrinsic value in social interactions.
  • Oxytocin release during mutual eye gaze facilitates pair bonding.
  • Eye contact signals attraction and interest, particularly in mate selection.
  • Mutual gaze promotes comfort, familiarity and bonding.

However, the effects of eye contact likely depend on the context and type of relationship. While eye contact can accelerate intimacy between potential mates, very prolonged staring can feel threatening and uncomfortable. Some cultures also have norms around direct eye contact that shape its meaning. Overall, evidence indicates eye contact tends to increase liking, bonding and feelings of connection, but situational factors matter. Moderation is key for eye contact to have positive effects.

Other Factors Influencing Interpersonal Attraction

While eye contact can facilitate liking, researchers have identified many other factors influencing attraction between individuals:

Physical Attractiveness

Studies consistently show people are more attracted to physically attractive individuals. First impressions based purely on appearance influence liking. Beauty standards also shape perceived attractiveness.

Familiarity

The mere exposure effect demonstrates that repeated exposure to a stimulus will increase liking of it. Familiar people seem safer and more preferable.

Similarity

People are drawn to those similar to themselves in terms of demographics, personality, values and interests. Similarity signals compatibility.

Reciprocal Liking

Knowing someone likes you in return increases mutual attraction. This reinforces bonds and relationships.

Desirable Personality Traits

Personality traits like warmth, intelligence, humor and confidence make someone more interpersonally appealing.

Proximity and Interaction

People who interact more and are physically nearer tend to like each other more. Proximity facilitates bonding.

Factor Explanation
Physical Attractiveness People are drawn to beauty.
Familiarity Familiar people feel safer.
Similarity Alike people seem compatible.
Reciprocal Liking Mutual liking reinforces bonds.
Desirable Personality Traits Warm, intelligent people draw us in.
Proximity and Interaction Contact facilitates bonding.

While eye contact contributes, these additional factors help explain interpersonal liking and attraction.

Caveats Around Eye Contact

Most evidence points to eye contact increasing liking between people. However, there are some caveats:

– Excessive eye contact can feel aggressive or threatening. Moderation is key.

– Cultural norms shape the meaning of eye contact. Avoiding eye contact is customary in some cultures.

– Individual differences in social anxiety may make eye contact challenging or uncomfortable for some.

– Eye contact holds different meaning between strangers, friends, and intimate partners. Context matters.

– People can dislike others despite eye contact. Other factors like personality differences may override eye contact cues.

– The setting and type of relationship alters the effects of eye contact. More research is needed for definitive conclusions.

Experimental Research on Eye Contact and Liking

Most evidence on this topic comes from correlational studies, showing links between mutual gaze and positive social outcomes. More rigorous experiments directly testing the causal effect of eye contact on liking would be valuable. Some experimental research questions include:

– Does assigning strangers to engage in direct eye contact increase liking more than assigning averted gaze?

– Can manipulating the amount of eye contact in speed dating interactions increase romantic interest?

– How does prolonged eye contact compare to brief glances in influencing interpersonal liking between previously unacquainted people?

– Does increasing eye contact in collaborative tasks increase group cohesion more than tasks with no eye contact?

– How many seconds of sustained eye contact are optimal to increase liking without feeling threatening or uncomfortable?

Experiments can help establish direct causal evidence for how eye contact impacts social relationships beyond simple association. Carefully controlled tests with randomized groups and precise measurement of eye gaze could illuminate this topic.

Summary and Conclusion

Social psychology research tends to support the idea that eye contact increases liking between people. Theories span brain activity, oxytocin release, signaling attraction, and facilitating comfort through familiarity. However, the effects depend on moderation, culture, personality, context, and other factors. While eye contact contributes to liking, many other variables are at play in complex social relationships. More experimental work is needed to determine causation. Overall, eye contact seems meaningful in human bonding and may act as a starting point for intimacy. But it is not the sole determinant of deep interpersonal attraction. Moderated, mutual eye contact can help forge new connections and reinforce existing social bonds when interpreted appropriately for the situation and relationship.