As we get older, it’s common to hear the stereotype that older people become more irritable, impatient, and “mean.” But is there any truth to this idea that increasing age makes people less agreeable? Or is it simply a case of confirmation bias, where we selectively remember examples that fit the stereotype?
Let’s examine what science has to say about whether personality traits like agreeableness really change with age. Personality researchers make a distinction between two types of stability in personality traits.
Mean-level stability refers to whether the average level of a trait increases, decreases, or remains stable across a population as people get older.
Rank-order stability refers to whether the relative ordering of individuals on a trait remains the same over time. So someone who is highly agreeable compared to others at age 30 will also tend to be highly agreeable compared to others at age 60.
Research suggests that while rank-order stability tends to remain high through late adulthood, there are slight declines in agreeableness, conscientiousness, and openness from mid-adulthood to old age at the mean level across populations. However, these mean-level changes are quite small, around one-tenth of a standard deviation over decades.
So while there may be a very slight average decline in agreeableness as people get older, this tendency is easily outweighed by the stability of personality at the individual level. The curmudgeonly senior stereotype does not apply to most people.
How does personality change with age?
Personality researchers view traits like agreeableness as having both biological and environmental influences that interact over the life course. There are several theories about how and why personality might change as we age:
- Biological theories argue that aging-related chemical and neural changes push some traits slightly downward over time. For example, decreased dopamine and serotonin activity may reduce agreeableness. However, the impacts are quite small.
- Role theories argue that changing social roles influence personality. For example, transitioning from employment to retirement may allow more freedom to express disagreeableness that was previously suppressed.
- Life events and experiences may reinforce or dampen certain traits over time. For example, experiencing personal losses may make some people more bitter.
- Cohort effects refer to differences caused by being raised in a particular era. For example, some argue that more recent generations are more individualistic, influencing their agreeableness.
Overall, a combination of small biological, social, and environmental factors likely influence subtle mean-level personality changes later in life. But most changes are quite small at the broad population level.
Are there gender differences in agreeableness changes?
Researchers have investigated whether personality changes differ between men and women as they age. Some studies have found that:
- Women tend to show smaller declines in agreeableness with age compared to men.
- Men exhibit larger drops in conscientiousness compared to women.
- Declines in openness to new experiences tend to be larger for women.
However, gender differences in age-related personality changes are quite small and inconclusive overall. In most studies, men and women do not differ significantly in how their Big Five trait levels change as they get older. Just like with age, gender likely plays only a minor role.
Can you actively change your personality as you age?
While personality is relatively stable, there is evidence that people can actively work to change their traits through effort and practice. For example, regularly forcing oneself to react calmly in frustrating situations can increase agreeableness over time.
Some researchers argue that maturation requires active personality development across adulthood. This involves identifying ideal future selves, setting goals, and implementing steps to reduce neuroticism or increase conscientiousness, for instance.
Personality change is certainly difficult, but the aging process provides opportunities to redirect our life course in positive ways. With motivation and concerted effort, it is possible to cultivate more desirable traits. So getting older does not rigidly force people to become less agreeable – change ultimately depends on the individual.
What impacts agreeableness in older age?
While chronological age itself has limited impact on personality, other age-related factors can influence agreeableness. Retirement, physical health, cognition, loneliness, and goals are some key factors:
Retirement: The transition to retirement brings lifestyle changes that can impact traits. Leisure time increases, while social contacts and purpose from work decrease for some. This may increase bitterness or irritability. Retirees that maintain an active, engaged lifestyle often report personality stability.
Physical health: Declining physical health and increased pain with age can reduce agreeableness. This may elicit grumpiness, frustration, or sadness. Maintaining health through exercise and active medical care may help preserve niceness.
Cognition: Impaired executive functions like reasoning and inhibition can make it harder for seniors to regulate disagreeable urges and behaviors. Some dementia diseases directly reduce inhibition and social appropriateness.
Loneliness: Social isolation and loneliness are risk factors for increased neuroticism and diminished agreeableness. Seeking out community ties and close relationships can counteract this.
Goals: Growth-oriented goals focused on generativity and giving back to others tend to be related to increased agreeableness in later life. In contrast, self-centered goals may enable maintaining disagreeableness.
Tips for increasing agreeableness as you age
Here are some tips that aging individuals can follow if they want to consciously cultivate higher agreeableness:
- Practice empathy by imagining yourself in others’ situations before responding.
- Bite your tongue – pause before expressing criticism or negativity.
- Spend more time listening to understand rather than speaking.
- Keep complaining in check – it often backfires and pushes people away.
- Set agreeableness goals and actively reward your progress.
- Reduce social comparisons and competitiveness when they bring out disagreeableness.
- When you slip up, apologize and forgive yourself – change takes time and effort.
- Seek inspiration from highly-agreeable role models, even fictional ones.
- Cultivate self-compassion to reduce the insecurity that feeds mean behavior.
Conclusion
While there are age-related physical and social changes that can nudge agreeableness down, these impacts are quite small at the broad population level. With effort and commitment, it is possible for individuals to actively cultivate agreeableness and override negative influences as they age. Avoiding physical and social risk factors like isolation and poor health also helps. Personality changes gradually across adulthood but is not fixed – with motivation, even curmudgeons can become a little nicer.
| Age Range | Mean Agreeableness Score |
|---|---|
| 20-29 years | 4.1 |
| 30-39 years | 4.0 |
| 40-49 years | 3.9 |
| 50-59 years | 3.8 |
| 60-69 years | 3.7 |
| 70-79 years | 3.6 |
| 80+ years | 3.5 |
Table 1. Hypothetical data showing minor decreases in mean agreeableness scores across increasing age groups in adulthood. Scores are on a 1-5 scale, with 5 representing highly agreeable.
References
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Harris, M. A., Brett, C. E., Johnson, W., & Deary, I. J. (2016). Personality Stability From Age 14 to Age 77 Years. Psychology and Aging, 31(8), 862–874. https://doi.org/10.1037/pag0000133
Stephan, Y., Sutin, A. R., Canada, B., & Terracciano, A. (2017). Personality and Frailty: Evidence From Four Samples. Journal of Personality, 85(5), 630–637. https://doi.org/10.1111/jopy.12275
Allemand, M., Zimprich, D., & Martin, M. (2008). Long-Term Correlated Change in Personality Traits in Old Age. Psychology and Aging, 23(3), 545–557. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0013239