The question of whether we shape our own identity or our identity shapes us is a complex one with no definitive answer. Our sense of self and who we are is influenced by many factors both within our control and outside of it. In this article, we’ll explore the key elements that contribute to shaping identity and discuss arguments on both sides of the debate.
What is identity?
Before we can address this question, it’s important to define what we mean by identity. Identity refers to how we see and define ourselves as individuals. It encompasses:
- Our self-image and self-esteem
- Our personality and character traits
- Our values and beliefs
- The groups we associate with based on factors like ethnicity, religion, profession etc.
- The roles we adopt such as parent, spouse, employee etc.
Our identity is shaped by both internal and external influences that combine to form our sense of self. This sense of self guides our behavior, goals and motivations.
Key factors that shape identity
There are many different factors believed to influence the development of our identity. Here are some of the main ones:
Genetics and biology
Our genetics and biological makeup play a key role in shaping our identity. Genes inherited from our parents contribute to our temperament, physical appearance, talents and susceptibilities to certain illnesses. Biological factors like hormones and brain chemistry can impact personality and behavior.
Early childhood experiences
According to many psychologists, our early childhood experiences with parents and family members are critical to developing a sense of self. Attachment to caregivers, modeling of behaviors, discipline styles and family dynamics help shape initial identity.
Culture and society
The culture we are born into provides a framework for norms, customs, values and belief systems that shape identity. Socialization teaches us the roles, behaviors and attitudes considered acceptable and desirable within our culture.
Individual choices and experiences
As we grow older, our distinctive life choices, pursuits and experiences further shape our evolving identity. What we choose to study, our career path, interests, hobbies, causes we support and major life experiences contribute to our self-concept.
Influence of others
Interactions with important people like friends, teachers, bosses and partners impact our attitudes, worldviews and interpretation of events. We also tend to compare ourselves to others which shapes our self-perceptions.
Major life events
Identity can sometimes be significantly altered in response to major life events and transitions like marriage, divorce, losing a loved one, trauma, illness or achievements. These events force re-evaluation of priorities and self-concept.
The view that identity shapes us
The argument that identity shapes us takes the view that there is a “true self” or innate identity that develops early and exerts a strong influence on the rest of our life. Some key arguments supporting this stance:
Early personality persists
Long-running longitudinal studies tracking people over decades show core aspects of personality like introversion or emotional stability tend to remain fairly stable in most individuals from childhood through adulthood and into old age.
Heredity shapes identity
Twin studies demonstrate the strong genetic component involved in traits like intelligence, temperament and talents. This implies identity may be tied to innate tendencies shaped by DNA.
Initial socialization persists
The language we learn, religious/cultural beliefs and values instilled in early childhood tend to form a core part of identity that persists through life.
Unconscious influences on personality
Psychoanalytic theory argues that early childhood experiences create an unconscious personality structure that powerfully shapes development.
Self-fulfilling prophecies
Labelling theories suggest that the identities ascribed to us by parents, teachers and others may elicit behaviors that conform to those expectations.
The view that we shape our identity
In contrast, the view that we actively shape our own identity posits that people have agency in determining who they are. Supporting arguments:
People can intentionally change
While core traits may remain stable, intentional efforts to change personality, habits, beliefs and skills demonstrate our ability to reshape identity over time.
Multiple identities develop
As we take on new roles and group memberships, we develop multiple identities tied to different situations that contribute to an overarching self-concept.
Identity evolves with experience
Our sense of self changes and expands as we accumulate life experiences that provide new information we integrate into our self-concept.
We construct our own narratives
We make sense of our experiences through internal narratives that allow us to make meaning out of key events and memories in our life stories.
Social interactions shape identity
Our identity and self-conceptions are continuously constructed and validated through our interactions and communications with other people.
Integrating the two views
In reality, one’s identity is shaped by a complex interplay between internal predispositions and external influences. A moderate view acknowledges:
- There are stable, innate identity aspects like core personality.
- Early childhood experiences are very impactful on initial identity formation.
- As we grow, we develop the capacity to deliberately shape our identity.
- Our ongoing experiences and social world provide the context where identity continues to evolve.
So while our identity gives shape to who we are initially, we gain increasing agency in reshaping our identity proactively while still being influenced by social factors. There is a dynamic, transactional relationship between the self we start out as and the self we become over time.
Ways we can intentionally shape our identity
Assuming we have some capacity to influence our own identity development, here are some ways we might actively shape our sense of self:
Reflect critically on your inner beliefs
Examining your deeply held assumptions, biases and beliefs can lead to changes by exposing them to new information and viewpoints.
Question and revise your life story narratives
How you internally explain major events and make meaning out of your memories shapes your identity. Rewriting these narratives can reframe your self-concept.
Choose your social groups selectively
Associating with groups that reinforce desired identity characteristics and expectations for your future self can strengthen those aspects of your identity.
Engage in new pursuits and activities
Taking on new hobbies, challenging yourself and gaining life experiences intentionally can reshape your skills, interests and beliefs.
Model desired behaviors
If you aspire to a particular identity, imitating others who personify those attributes can help mold your own attitudes and behaviors.
Make lifestyle changes
Significant changes to habits, relationships or environmental surroundings can provide fresh context to shift your identity over time in new directions.
Therapy and personal growth work
Working intentionally in psychotherapy and personal growth programs allows focused effort to rework engrained aspects of identity.
Change social/cultural environments
Immersing yourself in a new cultural setting or society introduces new influences on identity and offers a fresh slate for redefining yourself.
Potential obstacles to shaping identity
Despite some capacity to actively shape our own identities, there are obstacles that can make this difficult:
- Lack of self-awareness about identity
- Deeply ingrained subconscious beliefs or fears
- Significant trauma impacting self-concept
- Very stable, permanent identity characteristics
- Pressures to conform from family or social groups
- Limiting social structures or institutional barriers
- Poor mental health reducing motivation/agency
Conclusion
In conclusion, it appears one’s identity is both shaped for them initially as well as something they shape themselves through ongoing experiences and purposeful actions. Early influences like genetics, childhood experiences and social/cultural contexts provide the starting blueprint for identity. As we mature, we have increasing ability to reshape our own identities proactively while still operating within the possibilities and constraints imposed by external forces. Ultimately, our sense of self emerges through a fluid, mutually determining interaction between internal motivations and external realities.