The twin flame connection is often described as the deepest spiritual and emotional bond two people can share. However, it’s also known for its intense highs and lows, with the “runner/chaser” dynamic being common. This refers to when one twin flame feels overwhelmed and tries to “run” from the connection, while the other tries to “chase” them. So do twin flames pull away? The short answer is yes, it’s very common for one or both twin flames to feel the need to pull away from time to time. There are a few key reasons why this happens.
Why Do Twin Flames Pull Away?
1. The intensity can be overwhelming
The connection between twin flames is extremely powerful and activates a spiritual awakening process. This can bring up all kinds of intense emotions, fears, and shadows from within that need to be healed. One or both twins may feel overwhelmed by the surges of energy and emotion flooding their system, so they instinctively pull back to try and reduce the intensity.
2. Fear of vulnerability and abandonment
Twin flames mirror each other, quickly bringing up each other’s core wounds and insecurities. There is an opening up and sharing of souls happening that can feel frightening and make one feel vulnerable. If one twin has abandonment wounds, they may pull away out of fear before they perceive the other twin is going to leave or betray them. Their runner response is a misguided form of self-protection.
3. Doubts and resistance to change
The twin flame shake up brings much change, spiritual growth, and letting go of ego. Egos cling on to control and resist or rebel against change. Doubts can also creep in about whether this profound connection is real or right. One or both twins may pull away while they battle with their doubts and inner resistance.
4. Old relationship patterns repeating
Twins tend to unconsciously repeat old patterns from past relationships until they become conscious of them. Fears, doubts and runners/chaser behaviours can often be traced back to programming from past experiences of abandonment or betrayal. These patterns play out between twins until they are brought into awareness to be cleared and healed.
Does pulling away mean the end?
When flames ignite, flames can flicker. Some cycles of pulling away are inevitable as part of the purging process. It does not necessarily mean the end or failure of the connection. It is common for twin flame relationships to have a push/pull dynamic, moving between periods of coming together and drifting apart. Overall, the pulling away is temporary until twins build trust in themselves, each other, and their bond.
Here are some signs pulling away is temporary:
- It happens in phases, not permanently
- The emotional, mental or spiritual connection remains
- Growth, self-awareness and healing continue
- Both twins feel an ongoing pull towards each other
- The relationship moves in spirals, cycles, or waves
Growth cannot happen without some discomfort or resistance. What matters is how the twins move through the pulling away periods to heal and come back together stronger. Cycles of coming together and pulling apart can strengthen the bond over time as wounds are brought up and resolved.
How to get through runner/chaser cycles
It takes inner work, patience and faith to get through the turbulence of runner/chaser periods:
For the chaser twin
- Don’t chase out of desperation, chase from the heart
- Give space if they need it
- Keep communication open without pressure
- Focus on self-care and inner work
- Know it is not personal, they have wounds to face
- Trust in divine timing and your eternal bond
For the runner twin
- Be honest about why you are pulling back
- Reassure them you are not abandoning them
- Own your fears and resistance
- Commit to your inner work
- Honor the connection even if you need space
- Let your soul lead you back when the time is right
The strongest thing twins can do is work on themselves, heal their wounds, and raise their vibration. This minimizes excessive drama and speeds up reunion.
Does gender and role reversal matter?
There are some general trends in who pulls away more based on gendered conditioning and social expectations:
| Gender | Common Roles |
|---|---|
| Divine Feminine Twins | More likely to be the chaser due to being more open emotionally and energetically tuned into the connection. |
| Divine Masculine Twins | More often tend to run due to social conditioning around big emotions and intimacy plus false beliefs around masculinity. |
However, role reversal is also common in twin pairings. The Divine Feminine can be runner if she carries strong abandonment wounds or fears of engulfment. The Divine Masculine may play chaser if he is more in touch with the soul bond or the feminine shuts down first. The energies represent the inner orientation of each twin’s soul, not predictable gender patterns.
How long do runner and chaser phases last?
There is no set duration for runner/chaser phases, it depends on:
- The severity of wounds and fears being purged
- How consciously/subconsciously they are being cleared
- How much resistance and spiritual surrender there is
- How much inner work is being done by each twin
Short runner phases may only last days or weeks. Long drawn out cycles can run for months or years if twins remain unconscious and keep repeating destructive patterns. The average runner phase tends to last somewhere between 2-6 months. But each cycle and pair is unique.
Does permanent reunion happen?
With dedication from both twins, permanent reunion is possible after enough purging, healing and conscious spiritual growth. Here are some signs a twin flame couple is reconciliation for good:
- There is minimal drama, anxiety or projections
- Fears have been faced and transformed into love
- Mutual care, trust and respect have grown
- They have balanced healthy boundaries
- They have blossomed into their highest selves
- They feel safe, valued and unconditionally loved
Reunion signals they have moved through enough growth to break old patterns and come home to stay. This creates a stable union of friendship, passion and spiritual partnership.
Conclusion
It’s common for twin flames to pull back and withdraw due to the intensity and conscious growth the connection brings up. But through understanding the reasons, doing the work, and having compassion for each other and themselves, twins can move through these turbulent periods to heal and unify at a soul level. Having patience, trust and faith in their eternal bond can help twins ride the waves until they are ready for a stable union.