The rehearsal dinner is typically an intimate affair with close family and the wedding party attendees. With the more informal and intimate setting, some wonder if parents should give speeches at the rehearsal dinner.
Should parents give a speech at the rehearsal dinner?
While not required, it can be meaningful for parents to share remarks at the rehearsal dinner. A rehearsal dinner speech is an opportunity for parents to:
- Formally welcome their new son or daughter-in-law and their family
- Express their excitement for the upcoming marriage
- Offer marriage advice and well wishes to the couple
- Thank guests for attending the rehearsal and dinner
Ultimately, it’s up to the couple if they want parent speeches. Some couples opt to keep the rehearsal dinner informal and focus the speeches on the wedding reception. Others appreciate parent remarks as part of the rehearsal dinner program.
Who should speak if parents give a speech?
If you decide to have parent speeches, here are some options:
- Both sets of parents
- One parent from each side
- Just the couple’s parents, not the in-laws
- Just the couple’s parents-in-law, not the couple’s own parents
Choose the combination that makes the most sense for your situation and relationships. The bride’s parents typically speak first if you decide to have both sets give a speech.
What should parents include in a rehearsal dinner speech?
Parent rehearsal dinner speeches often touch on:
- Words of welcome and thanks to guests for being there
- Expression of pride and love for their son or daughter
- Welcoming their new son- or daughter-in-law into the family
- Sharing about when their child met their soon-to-be spouse
- Hopes and excitement for the couple’s marriage and future together
- Thanks to the couple for including them in the wedding planning
- Gratitude to the in-laws for raising such a wonderful person
- Funny stories or heartwarming memories about their child
- Marriage wisdom and advice for the couple
The tone is typically meaningful but also lighthearted and humorous. Parents should aim for 5-10 minutes at most.
Rehearsal dinner speech etiquette and tips
If you are a parent giving a rehearsal dinner speech, keep these etiquette tips in mind:
- Check with the couple to see if they want parent speeches at the rehearsal. Don’t assume.
- Keep it short and sweet – aim for 5 minutes max.
- Thank the guests sincerely for being there to celebrate the couple.
- Keep it positive and tasteful – inside jokes are great but avoid overly embarrassing stories.
- Be prepared but keep some remarks spontaneous and from the heart.
- Compliment your new son- or daughter-in-law for being a wonderful partner.
- Express your true feelings sincerely – this is your moment to honor your child.
- If both sets of parents are speaking, collaborate with the other parents so your speeches complement each other.
- Consider a token gift, like a photo album, meaningful relic, or childhood memento to present to the couple.
With thoughtfulness and brevity, parent speeches can be a heartwarming addition to the rehearsal dinner.
Example parent speeches
Here are some example parent speeches to help generate ideas:
Speech from the groom’s parents:
Good evening dear family and friends. We’re so happy to celebrate this wonderful couple and welcome everyone for this special dinner. I’m Mike, father of the groom, and this is my lovely wife Nancy. We are thrilled to be here on the eve of Tom and Marie’s wedding day.
From the moment our son first told us about Marie, we knew she was special. We could see the way his face lit up when he talked about her humor, kindness, intelligence and beauty. Now a few years later, that light in Tom’s eyes has only grown brighter thanks to his relationship with Marie.
Marie, I remember the first time we met you at Tom’s graduation party. We knew right away that you were the perfect match for our son, and would one day become part of our family. Your warm smile, sharp wit and clear love for Tom completely won us over. We couldn’t have asked for a better daughter-in-law.
As you embark on your marriage journey together, know that you have our full love and support. We wish you a lifetime of happiness, fun adventures together and growing love each day. We know your bond will only grow stronger, and we’re so proud of the couple you’ve become.
We love you both and can’t wait to celebrate with you tomorrow! So let’s raise a glass – to Tom and Marie!
Speech from the bride’s mother:
Welcome everyone! I’m Jennifer, Marie’s very proud mama. We are so delighted to be here with those nearest and dearest to Tom and Marie on this momentous occasion.
From the day she was born, I knew Marie was destined for amazing things. She has brought so much joy, laughter and purpose into my life. Watching my baby girl grow into the intelligent, kind, strong woman she is today has been my greatest honor.
When Marie first told me about Tom, I could immediately tell he was special. Her eyes lit up in a way I’d never seen when she talked about him. When I met him soon after, it was obvious what an incredible man he is. Tom, we are so happy to officially welcome you as part of our family.
Tom and Marie, I think you’re the perfect pair. You both radiate light, share a quirky sense of humor and clearly bring out the very best in one another. May your life together be blessed with an abundance of love, companionship and mutual understanding. We love you so much!
I can’t wait to celebrate your marriage with you tomorrow, and cherish all the memories we’ll make as one big happy family. So please raise your glasses – to Tom and Marie!
Should parents give a gift?
It’s optional for parents to give a gift or keepsake to the couple during the rehearsal dinner speeches. Some ideas if you wish to present a gift:
- Photo album of the couple throughout their relationship
- Childhood photo of your son or daughter
- Monogrammed bathrobes for the couple
- Custom picture frame with a meaningful quote
- Sentimental family heirloom
- Homemade coupon book with silly or romantic coupons
- Gift certificate for a couples massage
- Gift card for a fancy date night
Any gift should be thoughtful, meaningful and aligned with the couple’s tastes. Keep gifts modest and optional – the speeches themselves are the real treat.
Who else can give speeches?
In addition to or instead of parent speeches, some other options for offering remarks include:
- Wedding party members like the best man, maid of honor, etc.
- Siblings or other close relatives
- Close friends
- The couple themselves sharing thanks and expressing their excitement
The rehearsal dinner offers a chance for those closest to the couple to share laughter, love and their hopes for the soon-to-be newlyweds. Just keep the program concise and focused – long speeches can kill the warm ambiance.
Should speeches be given at the rehearsal dinner or reception?
This chart compares factors to consider between having speeches at the rehearsal dinner versus wedding reception:
| Rehearsal Dinner Speeches | Wedding Reception Speeches |
|---|---|
| More intimate setting with closer family and friends | Larger audience including all wedding guests |
| Lower pressure, expectations are looser | Higher expectations for an impactful, polished speech |
| Sets warm, positive tone leading up to the big day | Caps off the celebration and shares advice for the newlyweds |
| Usually shorter, more casual speeches | Longer, more formal speeches are common |
| Often includes the wedding party | Typically focused on family, the best man and maid of honor |
The rehearsal dinner offers a relaxed opportunity for brief, heartfelt speeches. The reception is the main stage for longer, polished speeches for all guests.
How long should rehearsal dinner speeches be?
At a rehearsal dinner, brief speeches work best. Consider the following ideal length per speech:
- Parents: 2-5 minutes each
- Siblings/Grandparents: 1-3 minutes
- Wedding party: 1-2 minutes
- Couple: 3-5 minutes if speaking
Keeping each one under 5 minutes total maintains an intimate, casual vibe. The reception toasts allow more time for longer speeches.
Conclusion
While not required, speeches can add meaningful memories to the rehearsal dinner. Parent remarks welcoming their new son- or daughter-in-law are especially fitting for this occasion.
If you decide to have parents or others give speeches, keep them short, heartfelt and focused on celebrating the couple. Consider gifts optional – the warm words of wisdom are what truly count.
Most importantly, embrace the special intimacy of the rehearsal dinner and enjoy each moment with your dearest family and friends on the eve of the big celebration.