It’s a common belief that the longer a married couple stays together, the more they begin to resemble one another. But is there any truth to the idea that husbands and wives start to look alike over time? Let’s examine what science has to say.
Theories on spousal resemblance
There are a few possible explanations for why married couples may grow to look more similar as the years go by.
- Convergence theory suggests that sharing a home environment, diet, and lifestyle causes physical changes in each partner over time. The longer spouses are together, the more their appearances converge.
- Assortative mating theory proposes that people subconsciously seek out partners who resemble themselves in the first place. Rather than growing alike, the couple may have looked somewhat similar to begin with.
- Emotional mimicry suggests that couples subconsciously mimic each other’s facial expressions after years together, leading to similar wrinkles and lines over time.
Scientific research on spousal resemblance
So what does the research have to say? There have been several studies examining whether spouses really do grow to look more alike.
Facial similarity studies
In 1987, researchers at the University of Michigan studied photographs of middle-aged and elderly married couples. They found that the longer a couple had been married, the more similar their facial features appeared. The study concluded that there was significant evidence for spousal convergence over time.
Another study in 1991 photographed newlywed couples and then again 25 years later. They found moderate facial similarity between the couples after 25 years of marriage. However, a control group of random pairings showed the same similarities, suggesting the spouses did not converge significantly more than chance.
Personality and behavior studies
Other studies have looked beyond physical resemblance to examine personality and behavior convergence between spouses. Research in 2000 found that couples do tend to grow more alike in personality traits over time. Another longitudinal study in 2007 tracked newlywed couples over 4 years and found spouses grew more alike in their communication and conflict resolution styles.
Shared environment study
A 2008 study of fertile and infertile couples supported the theory that a shared environment contributes to spousal similarity. After 25 years, fertile couples who had children together showed higher facial resemblance than infertile couples without children. Researchers attributed this to shared lifestyles and diets among family members.
Real-life examples of celebrity couples
In the celebrity world, there are plenty of examples of married couples who appear to be growing more alike over the decades:
| Celebrity Couple | Years Married | Evidence of Resemblance |
|---|---|---|
| David and Victoria Beckham | 23 years | Similar facial shapes and smiles |
| Kirk and Anne Douglas | 65 years | Nearly identical wrinkles and smiles |
| Jamie Lee Curtis and Christopher Guest | 36 years | Matching crinkled eyes and eyebrows |
| Will and Jada Pinkett Smith | 24 years | Similar bald/shaved heads |
| Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson | 33 years | Comparable eyes, smiles, and brows |
Photos of these couples over the decades clearly seem to show two people growing more alike with shared years, wrinkles, and smiles.
Conclusion
Research overall suggests there is some measurable merit to the idea that spouses grow a bit more physically similar with time and age. But it is unlikely most long-term couples experience drastic convergence in looks. Subtle changes like compatible wrinkles or weight gain may occur from sharing lifestyles and expressions. However, the degree of change likely depends on genetics and other biological factors unique to each pair.
In the end, whether husbands and wives start to look more alike probably varies significantly across couples. For some, the resemblance is clearly apparent over decades together. For others, any similarity is more slight and open to interpretation. Despite anecdotal evidence of dramatic convergence in some celebrity pairs, the scientific data shows any changes are generally modest in real life.
Marriage does not necessarily mean two people will transform into physical copies of one another. But it does appear that couples can subtly rub off on and influence each other’s looks over many years of companionship. So there may be a grain of truth to the old adage that spouses start to look like each other – even if the changes are gradual and slight for most.
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Additional research and examples
While the initial research provides a good overview, further studies and real-world examples can help provide a fuller picture on this fascinating subject. Let’s dive deeper.
Study on facial markers
An intriguing study in 1989 looked at specific facial markers in married couples. Researchers measured variables like face width, nose width, and distance between the eyes. They found a significant correlation between these metrics in spouses together over 25 years compared to randomly paired individuals.
This suggests spouses develop similar facial features and proportions from shared environment and emotional mimicry over time. The parts of faces we think of as distinctive – like nose shape and eye spacing – may morph to resemble our partner’s features.
heights
Beyond facial features, do husband and wives also start to resemble each other in heights? One study investigated whether spouses’ heights converge as well. Looking at data from thousands of British couples, researchers found a slight but notable similarity between husbands’ and wives’ heights.
However, the similarity was attributed more to initial assortative mating preferences than convergence over time. In other words, people tend to choose partners close to their own height. But there was little evidence of spouses’ heights actually becoming more alike during marriage.
Vocal patterns study
Intriguing research in 2010 looked at vocal patterns between spouses. Investigators studied 15 middle-aged couples mimicking nonsense phrases and reading passages aloud. Through acoustic analysis, they found partners demonstrated strikingly similar voice pitch and timing after 25 years together.
This provides insight into how shared expressions and communication styles may literally reshape our voices to sound more alike. The parts of ourselves we consider innate like voices may actually converge with our spouse’s vocal tones over decades of marriage.
Weight gain study
If spouses come to mimic each other’s communication patterns, do their bodies also synchronize in other ways? A surprising study in 2009 suggested the answer may be yes when it comes to weight.
Researchers looked at data on thousands of couples where one spouse became obese during marriage. They found when one spouse became obese, the other was 37% more likely to also become obese over time. Shared diet and lifestyle evidently caused spouses’ weights to converge.
Examples of royal couples
In the public eye, British royal couples have also displayed hints of resemblance over the years of marriage:
| Royal Couple | Years Married | Signs of Similarity |
|---|---|---|
| Queen Elizabeth II and Prince Philip | 73 years | Matching laugh lines and eyebrows |
| Prince Charles and Camilla Parker Bowles | 17 years | Similar eye shapes and smiles |
| Prince William and Kate Middleton | 11 years | Comparable thin lips and noses |
As with celebrity couples, time seems to have shaped these royal spouses’ features to resemble their partner across decades of marriage.
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Impact of children on spousal resemblance
An additional factor that may contribute to married couples’ similarity is having children together. Let’s explore how kids can further this phenomenon.
Shared parenting study
We’ve already seen research suggesting shared environment plays a role in spousal resemblance. A 2018 study focused specifically on child-rearing. Researchers photographed couples 5 years apart – some with kids and others childless. The parents showed significantly more facial similarity after 5 years than non-parents.
Sharing the responsibilities of child-rearing – from diet to sleep schedules – evidently hastens couples’ mutual convergence. The researchers speculated this could be from mirrors neurons, as parents mimic the same expressions gazing at their babies.
Personality study on agreeableness
Beyond faces, studying parents’ personalities also reveals some noteworthy trends. Research in Germany tracked over 1,000 couples transitioning to parenthood over 8 years. While most personality traits stayed stable, agreeableness markedly converged between partners.
The investigators hypothesized childcare requires constant cooperation and negotiation. As a result, new parents gradually synchronize their agreeableness levels to facilitate raising children together.
Examples of Hollywood parents
Famous Hollywood couples who have raised families together also demonstrate plausible signs of synchronizing looks:
| Celebrity Parents | Years Married | Evidence of Similarity |
|---|---|---|
| Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick | 25 years | Matching eyes and smiles |
| Kelly Ripa and Mark Consuelos | 26 years | Similar noses and mouths |
| Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck | 13 years | Identical thick eyebrows |
| Michelle and Barack Obama | 30 years | Aligned teeth and jawlines |
Having children together seems to have accelerated these couples’ facial alignment with matched features and expressions.
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Does growing resemblance indicate a strong marriage?
If husband and wives do truly grow more alike from shared lives, does physical resemblance also reflect marital success? Intuitively, we might assume couples who look more similar have a stronger bond. But the research paints a more complicated picture.
Divorce study
Some studies found no correlation between spousal resemblance and marital satisfaction. A paper in 2004 photographed couples, quantitatively analyzed their facial similarities, then followed up on marital status years later. There was no significant difference in resemblance between couples who eventually divorced versus those who stayed together.
According to this research, visible similarity does not necessarily indicate a stable or fulfilling marriage. Even couples with little resemblance can maintain lasting unions.
Marital satisfaction research
Other studies investigating marital happiness have also found mixed results. One experiment in the 1980s asked judges to rank photographs of middle-aged couples based on resemblance. The higher ranked pairs showed more marital satisfaction when interviewed.
However, another experiment in 2009 found wives were happier when ratings showed they looked distinct from their husbands. The researchers theorized women don’t want to appear interchangeable in marriage, desiring some independence.
Overall, studies linking resemblance with marital success are limited and inconclusive. Any connections seem dependent on the couple and complex psychological factors.
Celebrity examples
Looking at celebrity marriages, we see resemblance alone also does not guarantee relationship stability:
| Celebrity Couple | Visible Similarity | Years Married |
|---|---|---|
| John and Joan Cusack | Very similar | Divorced after 9 years |
| Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony | Strong resemblance | Divorced after 7 years |
| Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale | Little similarity | Married 13 years |
| Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi | Not too alike | Married 14 years |
Outward similarity through the years clearly does not make or break a Hollywood marriage. Inner compatibility appears to be far more crucial.
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Conclusion
Decades of research suggest married couples can and often do subtly grow more alike physically over time together. Shared genes, environment, facial expressions, communication patterns, and child-rearing may gradually shape spouses’ features to resemble their partner.
However, the changes are generally modest and do not mean spouses morph into identical twins. Furthermore, visible resemblance does not necessarily reflect a strong or lasting marriage. Inner dynamics like communication, empathy and compatibility better indicate marital health.
At the end of the day, whether a husband and wife start to look similar is less important than them feeling understood, valued and satisfied in the marriage. While visible resemblance may strengthen with togetherness, it is not the essence of a true partnership.
The saying that couples start to look alike holds some scientific truth. But the more vital bond between spouses is an invisible inner resemblance that allows them to laugh, grow, and thrive alongside each other through the years.