Breakups can be difficult for anyone, regardless of gender. However, there are some common beliefs that guys handle breakups better than girls. Is this really true? Do guys actually get sad when relationships end? Let’s take a closer look at how guys emotionally respond to breakups.
Do guys express sadness openly?
One major reason why some people think guys don’t get as sad about breakups is that guys often don’t express sadness openly. While women are generally socialized to be more open with their emotions, men are frequently taught to hide expressions of vulnerability like grief, sadness, or hurt. So even if a guy is devastated by a breakup, he may work hard not to show it.
Some key reasons guys may hide expressions of sadness after a breakup include:
- Wanting to appear strong and masculine
- Feeling like they need to “man up” and get over it
- Worrying about being judged as weak for struggling with the breakup
So while guys may seem stoic on the outside, it doesn’t necessarily mean they aren’t hurting badly on the inside. Societal expectations around male emotional expression often prevent guys from openly showing sadness about the end of a relationship.
Do guys grieve the loss of a relationship?
Even if guys don’t show it outwardly, most guys do experience grief after a breakup. Just like women, men become emotionally invested in relationships and go through a grieving process when those relationships end. Some key signs that a guy is grieving a breakup include:
- Withdrawing from social activities and wanting to be alone
- Loss of interest in normal activities like hobbies, sports, or hanging out with friends
- Feeling depressed, hopeless, or worthless
- Being easily irritated or angry at minor things
- Loss of appetite or overeating for comfort
- Feeling tired, low energy, or insomnia
Grieving is a necessary part of the healing process after a breakup. By giving themselves space to fully experience the grief, guys can eventually work through the pain and recover from heartbreak.
Do guys miss their ex after a breakup?
It is very common for guys to miss their ex for weeks or months after a breakup. Even if the relationship had problems, a breakup represents a loss – the loss of the routine, companionship, intimacy, and shared dreams for the future you had with your ex. Additionally, after a breakup, the brain releases cortisol and other stress hormones that can cause longing for your ex in an attempt to renew the attachment and stop the pain.
Common signs that a guy misses his ex after a breakup:
- Reaching out to her through texts, calls, social media, or mutual friends
- Looking at old photos, reading old messages/emails, or going places they used to go as a couple
- Bringing her up in conversation frequently or finding excuses to talk about her
- Comparing other girls negatively to his ex
- Secretly hoping she will want to get back together
The length of time a guy misses his ex varies depending on the length of the relationship, how emotionally invested he was, and how the breakup occurred. But virtually all guys experience missing their ex for awhile post-breakup.
Do guys feel depressed after a breakup?
Absolutely, guys can feel depressed after a breakup. Here are some key reasons why:
- Grief – Guys grieve the loss of love, companionship, and shared dreams just like women do.
- Loneliness – The loss of a serious relationship leaves a big void emotionally.
- Change in routine – Having to adjust to life without their ex is hard.
- Blow to self-esteem – Breakups can feel like rejection and damage self-confidence.
- Uncertainty about the future – Being single again brings uncertainty about the future.
Signs of depression in guys after a breakup may include:
- Fatigue/loss of energy
- Strong feelings of sadness, emptiness, or hopelessness
- Lost interest in hobbies or activities
- Significant weight changes (loss or gain)
- Difficulty sleeping
- Feeling worthless or excessively guilty
- Anger, irritability, restlessness
- Inability to concentrate
- Withdrawing from others
If symptoms persist more than a couple weeks, professional counseling may be needed to treat the depression. Most guys bounce back within a few months as the intense grief phase passes.
Do guys regret initiating a breakup?
Yes, it’s common for guys to regret breaking up with a girlfriend. Reasons he may regret leaving her include:
- Missing her companionship and support
- Realizing losing her wasn’t worth giving up over reasons for the breakup
- Discovering the single life isn’t as exciting as imagined
- Loneliness and difficulty adjusting to being single again
- Seeing she has moved on and is dating someone new
- Comparing other girls to her and finding them lacking
According to one study, over 50% of participants regretted initiating a breakup. This regret can lead guys to reach out to try to reconnect with an ex to see if there’s still a chance.
How guys try to reconnect with ex-girlfriends
Common ways guys try to get back together with an ex include:
- Texting her memes, songs, or references to past memories/jokes
- Casually reaching out asking how she’s been
- Liking and commenting on her social media posts more
- Showing up at places he knows she’ll be
- Sending direct messages asking to meet up to “catch up”
- Telling mutual friends he regrets the breakup or still has feelings for her
However, efforts to reconnect often go unrequited, as the woman has likely moved on. But some guys can’t let go of the regret.
Conclusion
In summary, while guys may not always outwardly show it, most men do get sad over breakups. They experience grief, loneliness, depression, and regret just like women. However, societal expectations around male emotional expression often prevent guys from openly displaying sadness. Instead, guys tend to isolate themselves and deal with the pain internally after a breakup. With time, support, and self-care, men can heal and move forward from a broken heart.