Gifted kids are often perceived as having an easy time in school and life in general. However, the truth is that gifted children face their own unique challenges and frustrations. In this article, we’ll explore some of the reasons why gifted kids may get frustrated more easily than their peers.
They’re held to higher expectations
Gifted kids tend to be held to higher standards by both parents and teachers. There is an assumption that because they are bright or talented, they should be able to easily ace schoolwork and pursue extracurricular activities. When gifted kids struggle to meet these high expectations, they can feel very frustrated.
For example, if a gifted child brings home a B on a test, their parents may react with disappointment or criticism. For an average student, that B would be considered a good grade. Gifted kids pick up on these nuances and can feel frustrated when their best efforts don’t seem to be good enough.
They get bored easily
Gifted children often have quick minds and a strong drive to learn. If they aren’t sufficiently challenged at school, they may complete assignments quickly and then feel bored. Sitting through lessons on material they already understand can be very frustrating.
Gifted kids thrive when they are learning new concepts, solving problems, and diving deep into topics that interest them. Rote worksheets and repetitive tasks bore them quickly. When gifted students are understimulated, they may act out or withdraw from frustration.
They are perfectionists
Many gifted children set extremely high standards for themselves. Perfectionism is common among gifted kids. They want to be the best student in the class, earn top marks on every test, and execute every project flawlessly.
When gifted kids fall short of these perfectionistic standards, even by a little bit, they can become very frustrated. A single math problem answered incorrectly or one misplayed note during a piano recital can feel like a personal failure. This frustration over small mistakes can be difficult for gifted kids.
They think differently
Gifted children often see the world through a unique lens. Many gifted kids have overexcitabilities, which means they experience sensory input more intensely. Gifted kids may also make connections between concepts that average students don’t see.
As a result, gifted children sometimes struggle to relate to peers and feel like no one quite understands their perspective. They can feel isolated and get frustrated when others don’t follow their complex train of thought.
They lack challenge
Schools often preach about meeting students at their level and scaffolding instruction to provide the right amount of challenge. In reality, most classrooms teach to the middle, which means gifted students are underchallenged.
Sitting through basic lessons on material they already know well is frustrating for gifted kids. They thrive when given meaty, challenging material and problems that push them outside their comfort zone. Lack of appropriate challenge leaves gifted students feeling frustrated and restless.
Perfectionism breeds frustration
Many gifted children are perfectionists at heart. They set extremely high goals for themselves and become frustrated when they fall short, even if they come close to meeting the goal. For example, a gifted child who misses one question on a test may dwell on that single mistake rather than celebrating their near-perfect score.
likewise, gifted kids often reject making mistakes as part of the learning process. They want to get things exactly right the first time. When they inevitably stumble or struggle, gifted children can become frustrated and convinced they are failures. Their perfectionism leaves little room for error.
Frustration over small talk
Gifted children often have rich inner worlds of thought and imagination. They thrive on analyzing concepts deeply, pondering big questions, and exploring intellectual topics.
Small talk can frustrate gifted kids, who would rather discuss science, philosophy, or the arts than the weather or what happened at recess. Gifted kids want mental stimulation, and conversations about trivial topics drive them crazy.
Big picture thinkers
Gifted children tend to be big picture thinkers. Their minds make connections between complex concepts. They see how different ideas link together to form an interconnected web of knowledge.
Sitting through lessons that focus on isolated skills or facts can frustrate big picture thinkers. Gifted kids want to know how these pieces fit into the larger schema. Without grasping the context and broader relevance, they feel like they are missing out on the big picture.
Tips for parents
If your gifted child seems frequently frustrated, don’t despair. There are steps you can take to help them thrive:
- Let them know it’s ok to make mistakes. Teach them to see mistakes as learning opportunities.
- Expose them to hands-on, engaging activities that spark creativity and allow self-directed exploration.
- Advocate for appropriate accommodations at school, such as accelerated or enriched coursework.
- Nurture their interests through extracurricular activities, books, and discussions.
- Connect them with other gifted kids to reduce social isolation.
- Teach strategies for managing perfectionism and coping with frustration.
- Ensure they get time every day for unstructured play and imagination.
Tips for teachers
As a teacher, you can help gifted students thrive and minimize frustration by:
- Providing accelerated or enriched coursework to suit their abilities.
- Assigning open-ended, inquiry-based projects.
- Allowing opportunities for student-led learning.
- Grouping gifted kids together for differentiated instruction.
- Introducing creative problem-solving and critical thinking challenges.
- Recognizing accomplishments without constantly demanding more.
- Allowing gifted children to explore passions through independent study.
Signs of frustration
Look for these signs that a gifted child is feeling frustrated:
- Boredom, lack of motivation
- Acting out or misbehavior
- Withdrawal from classroom activities
- Perfectionistic statements like “I’ll never be good at this”
- Avoiding trying new things for fear of failure
- Complaints of school being too easy
- A dip in academic performance
- Reluctance to go to school
When to seek help
Pay attention if your gifted child’s frustration seems excessive or starts impacting their emotional wellbeing and performance. Consult a psychologist if your gifted child:
- Refuses to go to school or skips classes
- Shows signs of depression like sadness, lack of motivation, or isolation
- Has uncontrollable emotional outbursts
- Describes intense feelings of anger or shame over small failures
- Talks about feeling worthless or like a failure
- Shows drastically changed behavior patterns
- Harms themselves or considers self-harm
With customized strategies and support, parents and teachers can help gifted kids manage frustration and thrive.
Conclusion
Gifted children are often believed to breeze through school without challenges. In reality, their quick minds and perfectionistic tendencies lead to unique frustrations. Gifted kids get bored and restless when material isn’t sufficiently challenging. Their high personal expectations coupled with perfectionism also breeds frequent frustration over small failures and mistakes. With the right support strategies, parents and teachers can help gifted children harness their abilities while developing healthy coping skills.