Quitting a job can be an emotional and stressful experience for many employees. You may have concerns about how your boss and colleagues will react when you resign. Will your boss be understanding and supportive? Or will they get angry and try to convince you to stay? The truth is, most managers do care when an employee quits, but their reactions can vary greatly depending on the situation and their management style. In this article, we’ll explore the key questions around bosses and resignations:
Do bosses take it personally when you quit?
For some managers, an employee quitting can feel like a betrayal or personal failure. After all, bosses invest time and effort into hiring and training staff. When an employee resigns, a manager may wonder “What did I do wrong?” or “How could I have prevented this?”. However, the decision to leave a job is usually not a direct reflection on the manager. Employees quit for many reasons including better career opportunities, incompatible work values, or major life changes. While it stings to lose a team member, managers shouldn’t take it as a personal attack. With empathy and reflection, bosses can accept that staff turnover is part of business.
Are bosses usually surprised when you quit?
Often managers are caught off guard by an employee’s decision to quit. In fact, over half of bosses are surprised when an employee resigns according to a BambooHR survey. Why does this resignation blindness happen? Managers are often focused on major business objectives and may underestimate signs of employee dissatisfaction. Also, staff don’t always voice concerns directly to their manager. Unless there are major red flags, many managers are shocked upon receiving a resignation notice. The lesson is that managers need to be proactive about checking in with employees about job satisfaction and watching for subtle clues they may leave.
Do managers try to make you feel guilty for quitting?
Some managers may try to induce guilt in departing staff by emphasizing how much the team needs them and how difficult it will be to replace them. They may bring up sacrifices made to support the employee’s growth in the role. While these sentiments may be truly felt, this guilt-tripping approach often leaves a bad taste and damages the relationship. Effective managers express understanding, appreciation and good will when an employee resigns. They avoid guilt trips which usually backfire. That said, managers may explain the impact of the resignation and ask if the employee can provide sufficient notice to ease the transition. As long as it’s not manipulative, outlining the implications for the business is reasonable.
Will your boss be angry if you quit?
Reactions to resignations range from sadness and disappointment to anger and resentment. In most cases, managers feel a mix of emotions. Anger is possible if the resignation seems ill-timed or badly handled. For example, quitting abruptly during a crucial project or leaving for a competitor can provoke manager resentment. However, outright anger is inappropriate as the manager-employee relationship should remain respectful. Mature managers can share their feelings candidly yet calmly. Some key strategies for minimizing manager anger include:
– Giving ample notice – This allows a manager time to prepare.
– Offering to train a replacement – This ensures continuity.
– Transitioning work thoroughly – This avoids dropping the ball.
– Avoiding venting frustrations – Air grievances politely and avoid burning bridges.
With care and candor, managers can share their feelings without unchecked anger.
How do managers really feel when you quit?
Despite what your paranoid brain tells you, when an employee quits, it’s usually not personal for the manager. More often it’s a mix of regret, disappointment and anxiety. Here are some of the main concerns and reactions from managers:
They feel regret and responsibility
Managers often replay events and wonder if they could have done something to prevent the resignation. They may regret not recognizing and addressing morale issues sooner. While not entirely their fault, conscientious managers feel some responsibility when staff quit. This can motivate them to learn and improve as leaders.
They worry about the team’s workload
Losing a team member means rebalancing responsibilities and filling gaps. This weighs on managers as they strategize to cover the absence without overburdening remaining staff. Quitting employees should give ample notice and thorough handovers to ease the transition.
They stress about finding replacements
Hiring takes time and finding the right talent isn’t easy. Managers dread the hefty workload of recruiting, interviewing and training new staff. Employees leaving large shoes to fill adds another layer of anxiety.
They fret over the costs of turnover
Losing an employee represents a big investment loss for companies. Replacing staff costs 20% or more of the employee’s salary on average. When valued workers quit, it takes a financial toll on the business.
They feel sadness and disappointment
Beyond practical concerns, managers form connections with their teams. Losing a team member can feel like saying goodbye to a friend. Emotions of sadness and loss are common if the professional relationship was strong. Letting go is hard.
They may take it personally
Despite managers’ best efforts to be rational, self-doubt often creeps in. Some take resignations as a blow to their confidence if they don’t get candid feedback on the reasons. Managers wonder “Was I not a good leader?” or “Could I have done more?”. It’s not logical, but many bosses struggle with feelings of inadequacy when staff unexpectedly quit.
While everyone reacts differently, most managers go through an emotional rollercoaster when employees resign. Understanding this can help you empathize and leave on good terms.
How should you tell your boss you’re quitting?
Telling your boss you’re resigning can be an awkward conversation. Emotions may run high on both sides. With some planning and finesse, you can quit diplomatically:
Request a private meeting
Don’t break the news casually in the hallway or during a meeting. Schedule a time to tell your boss one-on-one in a private setting. Give your manager dedicated focus.
Show appreciation
Start by thanking your boss for the opportunities you’ve had. Share something you enjoyed or will miss about working there. Starting positively sets a good tone.
Explain your reasons
Provide context about why you’re leaving while avoiding negativity. Share enough details so your boss understands, but don’t overshare or criticize.
Give sufficient notice
Generally, you should give two weeks’ notice, or longer if you hold a senior role. Working through your notice period maintains goodwill.
Offer to help with the transition
Propose training a replacement or finishing key projects. Make the transition smooth for your manager.
Express willingness to help if needed
Let your boss know you’re open to answering any questions down the road to wrap things up. Offer contact details.
Thank your boss again
End by reaffirming your gratitude and appreciation for your boss’ leadership. Leave on a warm note.
Giving your manager forewarning and framing the conversation positively can minimize hard feelings on both sides.
How should managers react when an employee quits?
When employees quit, managers set the tone for how the rest of the departure will go. Here are tips for managers on handling resignations gracefully:
Thank the employee for their contributions
Recognize their hard work and unique impact. Thank them for their dedication and effort over the years.
Have an open discussion about the reasons
Get insight into why they’re leaving and their sentiments about working there. Listen without defensiveness.
Make counteroffers thoughtfully
If you want to persuade an employee to stay, tailor counteroffers to the reasons they’re leaving. Don’t make empty promises.
Outline next steps for the notice period
Discuss how to transition their responsibilities and arrange introductions with colleagues who can fill gaps.
Explore how they can help with hiring
Consider involving them in creating a job description, screening applicants or training new hires if willing.
Don’t take it personally
Their decision to leave is about their own career and life, not a personal slight. Wish them well rather than resenting their choice.
Do an exit interview
Use this as an opportunity to learn how to improve retention and satisfaction at the company. Ask for candid feedback.
Keep the door open
If they were a valued employee, let them know they are welcome back. Stay connected on LinkedIn.
With empathy, diligence and reflection, managers can make the most of resignations and maintain positive relationships.
How can you tell if your boss is upset you are quitting?
Even if managers aim to be composed, their true feelings often surface when employees resign. Here are signs your boss may be upset or blindsided by your departure:
They seem shocked or caught off guard
If your resignation announcement is met with surprise or confusion, your manager likely had no idea you were unhappy or job searching. Their expectations have been upended.
They probe about your new job and company
Lots of questions about where you’re going and what they offer indicates anxiety about losing you to a competitor. They want intel.
They ask if you’d consider a counteroffer
A manager who hastily tries to convince you stay by offering perks or promotions feels threatened by your impending absence.
They press you for reasons
Managers wanting all the specifics on why you’re leaving may have bruised egos. They’re scrutinizing your rationale.
They vent about the hassle your exit will cause
If they show exasperation about rehiring or take jabs at your “inconvenient” timing, they’re being passive aggressive.
They go silent and end the meeting abruptly
If a manager cuts the resignation conversation short and isolates themselves, they likely feel embarrassed and need time to process the blow.
While managers aim to be pragmatic, unemotional reactions signal they’re taking your resignation in stride. Look for subtle clues of surprise, denial or annoyance to decipher their mindset.
Conclusion
Having an employee quit is rarely easy for managers. Despite their best efforts, most bosses experience a flood of emotions including disappointment, anxiety, sadness and sometimes anger when staff resign. However, the departure also represents a learning opportunity. Through exit interviews and self-reflection, managers can gain valuable insights to strengthen retention and prevent future turnover. Approaching resignations with maturity, empathy and care enables managers to maintain positive relationships with exiting staff and focus on the future. With consideration and diligence, the disruption of turnover can catalyze growth for managers, companies and employees alike.