The concept of having more than one soulmate is a debated topic. Some believe that we only have one true soulmate that we are meant to be with, while others believe it is possible to have multiple soulmates over the course of a lifetime. There are compelling arguments on both sides of this issue.
What is a soulmate?
A “soulmate” is generally defined as someone you have a very deep, spiritual connection with. It’s someone you feel like you’ve known your entire life, even if you’ve only recently met. Many people believe a soulmate is someone you are destined to be with, a person perfectly suited to you in every way.
Soulmate traits
Some key traits associated with soulmates include:
- An instant bond or connection
- Uncanny similarities like shared interests, values, beliefs, quirks, and perspectives
- Comfortability with each other even during silence
- The ability to be totally yourself with your soulmate
- A relationship that feels destined, like it was “meant to be”
- A feeling of having known your soulmate forever
When you meet someone with many or all of these traits, it can certainly feel like you’ve met your one and only soulmate.
Do we only have one soulmate?
The idea that we only have a single soulmate is incredibly romantic. It suggests that in this world of billions of people, there is only one person who is our perfect match. It’s the plot of countless films, books, and songs. However, not everyone believes we have only one soulmate.
Reasons some believe in just one soulmate
Here are some top reasons people believe we only get one soulmate in life:
- The notion just “feels” right – it aligns with people’s idea of true love and finding “the One.”
- It’s a very romantic notion perpetuated by popular media and culture.
- Some spiritual traditions teach that our souls split in two before birth and we spend our lives searching for our other half to become whole again. In this view, we each have one and only one other “soul half.”
- Some people have such a singular, electric connection with one person they can’t imagine feeling that with anyone else, so they conclude this must be their soulmate.
- Some feel they found “the one” and can’t accept the idea that another soulmate could still be out there.
- Believing in just one provides a sense of relationship security – if we have found our one and only soulmate, then we don’t have to worry about finding and keeping that connection.
For some, the notion of a single, perfect soulmate is intensely comforting. However, others find flaws in this line of thinking.
Criticisms of the “one soulmate” belief
Here are some arguments against the idea that we only get one soulmate in life:
- With billions of people in the world, it seems mathematically unlikely only one would be a perfect match for you.
- People change a lot over time – a perfect soulmate at one stage of life may not remain so.
- One narrow definition of a soulmate could cause people to miss out on other great relationships.
- Reincarnation beliefs suggest we have many soulmate connections over various lifetimes, not just one.
- Some people feel they have lost a soulmate to death but then met another soulmate later on.
- Some experience feeling like they have met more than one soulmate candidate over their lives.
Divorce rates suggest we don’t always end up with our one and only “meant to be” match.
Given the flaws in the “one soulmate” notion and many people’s personal experiences, deeming it possible to have multiple soulmates seems reasonable to many.
Is it possible to have multiple soulmates?
While the idea that someone can have multiple soulmates over a lifetime challenges romantic ideals, many believe it is possible based on anecdotal human experiences.
Reasons some believe you can have more than one soulmate
Here are some top reasons why many people believe it’s possible to meet multiple soulmate matches:
- People change so much over their lifetimes that different relationship needs arise. The perfect match at 20 may not suit you at 50.
- People report feeling intense soulmate connections with multiple people, especially if they date extensively or have past lives.
- Losing a soulmate doesn’t necessarily mean you can’t gain another. Widows and divorcees open their hearts again.
- Some feel they have distinct but equal soulmate connections with both romantic partners and close friends.
- Having more than one soulmate allows for reincarnation and growth across lifetimes. It suggests you need different souls to learn and evolve.
- It provides hope that a “perfect match” can be found again even after losing one to circumstance.
- Having multiple soulmates is seen by some as a way to prepare for the ultimate soulmate relationship.
In this view, meeting multiple soulmates can be seen as an act of growth, learning, and preparation for what is to come.
What experts say
Relationship experts and soulmate specialists tend to agree it’s indeed possible to have multiple soulmates. They offer perspectives like:
- People have numerous soulmate possibilities, but their ultimate, lasting soulmate depends on their spiritual readiness for the relationship.
- People can have simultaneous soulmates in different areas of life (friends vs. romantic partners).
- People tend to have one primary soulmate at a time, but can have multiple over the years.
- Soulmates can be together for some time periods and then reconnect later on after maturing.
- Lost soulmates can reincarnate into new bodies you meet later on.
In general, experts admit to the complexity and nuance of spiritual relationships. Having multiple soulmates is seen as a very real possibility.
How can you have multiple soulmates?
Accepting that having multiple soulmates is possible leads to the question – how does this happen? There are a few key ways it is believed that multiple soulmates can enter one’s lifetime.
Sequentially
Some people believe you can have multiple soulmates in sequence. For example, you may meet your first soulmate, have a relationship, and then due to divorce or death, that relationship ends. Later on, you meet a new partner who also meets the criteria for a soulmate. Thus, you had two sequential soulmates.
For different periods of life
Similar to sequential soulmates, some believe you can have soulmates who are perfect for you at those specific periods of your life – for example, college, young adulthood, middle age, etc. Someone who connects intensely with your 21-year-old self may differ from your soulmate at 35.
Simultaneously for different needs
Some believe it’s possible to have simultaneous soulmates – like one who is a romantic partner and one who is a best friend soulmate. Each provides an intense soul-level connection that enhances your life at the same time.
Through reincarnation
From a reincarnation perspective, soulmates can be connections that span various lifetimes. The soul returns in a new body but reconnects with a soulmate from a past life upon meeting them again.
Missed opportunities reconnect
Some people believe a soulmate connection could be missed or not feasible at one point, but then later on, fate brings you back together when the timing is right. For example, reconnecting with a childhood sweetheart in midlife.
Overall, the concept that soulmates can come in and out of your life at different times and for different spiritual purposes aligns with the notion that more than one is possible.
What are the types of soulmates?
Assuming you can have multiple soulmates, what are the different types you might encounter? Here are five of the most common relationship categories soulmates may fall into:
| Soulmate Type | Description |
|---|---|
| Romantic partners | A romantic partner, girlfriend/boyfriend, or spouse that feels like a soulmate. |
| Best friends | A extremely close platonic friend who feels like a soul-level connection. |
| Twin flames | An intense soulmate believed to mirror you and teach you lessons. |
| Kindred spirits | Soulmates who understand and vibe with your spirit. |
| Old souls | Soulmates you’ve shared past lives with who feel familiar. |
You certainly don’t have to have one of every type. But these categories help explain the different types of soulmate bonds that could occur over a lifetime.
Can you be soulmates with a romantic partner?
Being soulmates with a romantic partner is perhaps the most classic depiction of soulmates – two lovers who feel they were destined to meet and perfectly suit each other. This can be a spouse, long-term partner, or even a dating relationship that feels meant to be.
Can friends be soulmates?
Absolutely, friendships can also have the depth and intimacy of a soulmate bond. Friends who feel like they’ve known each other forever, understand every part of each other’s spirit, and feel like family can be considered soulmates.
What are twin flames?
A twin flame is an intense soulmate believed to help you grow and learn through the relationship. It’s a mirror-like bond that helps you see yourself more clearly. Twin flames tend to incite passion and tension meant to help both souls evolve.
What are kindred spirits?
Kindred spirit soulmates are those who understand and connect with the very essence of your spirit. These soulmates “get” each other very deeply and feel a comfortable, easy connection.
What are old souls in soulmate terms?
Old souls refer to soulmates from previous incarnations and lives. You sense that you’ve known this soulmate before. It’s a feeling of reuniting and having a familiar bond despite just recently meeting.
Understanding these different types can help explain how soulmate bonds can form in various ways with different relationship roles.
Can you have false soulmate connections?
When soulmates are idealized as perfect romantic matches, it can actually lead to unhealthy relationships. Some warn against soulmate “fantasies” that set up unrealistic expectations in relationships. And others caution that some so-called “soulmates” can actually be toxic partners or friendships.
Soulmate psychiatrist and author Natalia Juarez writes, “The idea that there is only one perfect mate out there for you can actually wreck your relationships.” She cautions against the myths of soulmate love. Other experts suggest looking for a “conscious mate” rather than expecting a fairy tale soulmate.
Sometimes, that initial soulmate spark and connection blinds people to underlying incompatibility, abuse, or other unhealthy dynamics. Seeking an idealized “soulmate” match can also make people more likely to abandon partners when the “honeymoon phase” fades or issues emerge.
In this view, while soulmate connections can be real, people are better off seeking partners consciously based on shared goals, values, and compatibility versus expecting a magical soulmate bond to conquer all. Discernment is needed to differentiate true soulmate relationships from fantasies. Friendships and romantic partnerships alike require mutual understanding and effort to thrive.
Conclusion
At the end of the day, one’s views on soulmates come down to beliefs, experience, and personal interpretation. The traditional notion of one perfect soulmate intended for each person holds tremendous romantic appeal. However, given the complexities of human connection, many find validity in the idea that more than one soulmate can enter someone’s lifetime.
While definitions vary, most agree a soulmate goes beyond a typical relationship to a profound meeting of spirits. It’s reasonable to allow that two or more people could provide that grounding over a lifetime. Yet others still insist one and only one forever soulmate exists – and keeping the magic of that belief alive helps relationships thrive.
When it comes to soulmates, perhaps the wisest perspective is to remain open to many possibilities. The plurality of human experience suggests there are few absolute answers. Be receptive to all the soulmate potentials life has to offer.