Kissing in public in India is generally frowned upon and considered taboo. However, attitudes towards public displays of affection (PDA) like kissing are slowly changing, especially among younger generations in bigger cities. Here is a detailed look at the complex social norms around kissing in India.
Overview of Attitudes Towards PDA
India is a socially conservative country that places a high value on modesty and restraint when it comes to intimacy. Public kissing between couples, even if married, is often considered inappropriate. Some key reasons behind this are:
- India’s largely traditional, family-centered culture which emphasizes moral purity.
- Orthodox social norms and taboos around contact between unmarried men and women.
- An underlying belief that intimacy should remain private.
However, India is also rapidly modernizing, especially in urban areas. An increasing number of young Indians are embracing more liberal attitudes towards relationships and PDA. Still, change is gradual.
Kissing in Public Places
Kissing openly at public spots like parks, roads, markets etc. is not commonplace in India. It is likely to attract uncomfortable stares, comments or even harassment in some cases. The intensity of social disapproval varies across different parts of India though.
In major metro cities like Delhi, Mumbai, Bangalore etc. there is more tolerance, particularly in upscale, cosmopolitan neighborhoods. Young couples may hold hands or share quick kisses without much fuss. However, even in big cities, excessive PDA could lead to friction with more conservative onlookers.
In small towns and rural areas, kissing in public is taboo and likely to cause conflicts. The same goes for religious pilgrimage sites and areas around places of worship.
Kissing in Restaurants and Malls
Kissing inside enclosed private spaces like restaurants, cafes and malls is somewhat more acceptable, especially in bigger cities. Sitting in secluded, dimly lit corners or booths offers more privacy. However, even here, prolonged kissing or heavily intimate acts are frowned upon if openly visible to others around.
High-end restaurants and nightclubs usually take a more relaxed approach, as they cater to a Westernized elite crowd. But overt sexuality may not go down as well in modest family restaurants or local cafes. So some discretion is advisable.
Movie Theaters
Dark movie theaters were once among the few places where young Indian couples could grab some privacy and indulge in PDA. But multiplexes nowadays have more lighting, security and crowded common areas. So opportunities to kiss inside are reducing.
The back rows may offer some privacy for kissing, provided the theater is not packed. But stricter monitoring by staff in some multiplexes discourages excessive intimacy that may offend others.
Gardens and Secluded Spots
Parks, gardens, seafronts and other such isolated spots have traditionally been popular ‘dating sites’ for young Indian couples to escape prying eyes. They offer more privacy to share intimacy.
However, public parks also draw families and elders, so any overt intimacy could lead to complaints. Heavily wooded areas, quiet corners and nighttime provide more cover for young lovers. But security is also a concern, especially for women.
Attitudes Among Young Indians
Young Indians in cities are far more comfortable with PDA than older generations. Globalized outlooks, social media and web content have exposed them to public intimacy as ‘normal’. Dating and premarital sex are increasingly common among youth, at least in urban areas.
Most educated, affluent city youth are pragmatic. They know where and how much PDA is feasible without causing serious offense. Sheltered, limited lip-locking is usually fine, if done discreetly. However, lewd, excessive intimacy is also frowned upon.
Gender and Social Class Factors
Indian men, especially from lower income rural backgrounds, are more vulnerable to jealousy, rage and violence over female partners’ ‘infidelity’. This affects attitudes towards public intimacy.
Among educated, urban women there is a greater sense of personal liberty. They are often more comfortable to kiss or be intimate with boyfriends in public view, compared to small-town women from traditional backgrounds.
The elite upper class exhibits greater tolerance towards PDA, having been influenced by global media and foreign attitudes. They are least likely to be outraged by couples kissing, holding hands or hugging in restaurants, malls or theaters.
Kissing and the Moral Police
There have been instances of couples being harassed by self-appointed ‘moral police’ for kissing or holding hands in some more conservative towns. However, this is not a nationwide phenomenon.
In fact most educated Indian youth condemn and mock such regressive moral policing. Most citizens mind their own business rather than interfering in others’ personal matters.
Kissing in Indian Films
Kissing scenes have become commonplace in Indian films and web series now. There are even bold, prolonged kissing sequences in some contemporary movies and OTT shows.
Earlier Indian films avoided or suggested rather than depicted kissing to get past censors. But global exposure and social media have made such restraint outdated, at least for urban/youth audiences.
Still, over 60% Indians reside in small towns and rural areas with more conservative attitudes. So filmmakers also consider their sensibilities before adding in excessive intimacy.
Religious and Social Reform Perspectives
Many progressive leaders and liberal intellectuals in India advocate that consensual kissing between adults, married or not, should be a private matter. Criminalizing PDA using outdated ‘obscenity’ laws is absurd to them.
However, religious conservatives consider public kissing as ‘vulgar’. Right-wing groups like RSS, Jamaat-e-Islami etc. endorse the sanctity of India’s ‘traditional culture’ and admonish PDA as crass Westernization.
Moderate thinkers advise that individual liberty regarding PDA be tempered by sensitivity to prevailing social norms, to avoid unnecessary conflicts.
Kissing Laws in India
There are no direct laws in India prohibiting or criminalizing kissing in public or private spaces between consenting adults.
However, archaic laws like Section 294 of the Indian Penal Code do criminalize ‘obscene acts and songs’ in public places. These have sometimes been misinterpreted to harass couples for kissing in parks etc.
Section 377 of the IPC also earlier criminalized sexual activities ‘against the order of nature’. It has now been read down by the Supreme Court to exclude consensual intimacy between adults.
Many legal experts have argued that moral policing under vague ‘obscenity’ laws curtails the rights to free speech and expression. The laws need reform appropriately.
Kissing Customs and Habits
Unlike the West, kissing is not a customary greeting gesture in India, either between opposite genders or among same genders. The traditional Indian greeting is the hand-folded Namaste.
Kissing on lips between spouses is also not a very common romantic gesture, even in privacy. Familial pecks on cheeks are somewhat more common.
However, customs are certainly evolving, especially in cities. Urban couples and youth are more likely to casually kiss on dates and parties in clubs, as a romantic gesture.
Kissing and COVID-19
The COVID-19 pandemic has made people more averse to proximity and PDA. Couples are being cautious about kissing and intimacy in public, due to health concerns.
Using masks reduces lip contact. Guidelines also advise safer distancing in restaurants and theaters, curbing opportunities for intimacy.
However, in private spaces like homes, kissing with precautions is still common between partners, spouses and family members living together.
Conclusion
To summarize, while traditions discourage public intimacy, attitudes towards kissing are gradually relaxing in India – but only up to a point and only in some sections of urban society.
Public kissing still raises many eyebrows. Yet, an increasing number of youth also condemn moral policing against consenting couples. The balance between individual freedom and social compatibility remains a complex debate.