It’s a common worry for new moms – if I’m sad or crying, can my baby tell? And will it stress them out too? As it turns out, babies are remarkably perceptive, even from a very early age. While your newborn may not understand the complex emotions behind your tears, they are able to pick up on your emotional state. Crying and other displays of distress can impact a baby, but the effect depends a lot on their age and stage of development. Understanding how your emotions can affect your little one is key to handling stressful times gracefully.
Can Babies Sense Emotions?
Yes, even very young infants are able to pick up on emotions, thanks to some remarkable abilities:
Facial Recognition
Babies can recognize faces from birth. In fact, within hours of emerging into the world, infants show a preference for their mother’s face. They’re also able to pick out emotional expressions, telling the difference between happiness, sadness, anger, and more. Seeing a mother’s tears and facial expressions of distress allow even newborns to sense she is upset.
Sensitive Hearing
A baby’s sense of hearing is well developed from birth. Infants can recognize their mother’s voice and pick up on audible cues like crying, yelling, or frustrated sighs. A mother’s tone and emotional state comes through via vocalizations.
Smell
Babies navigate the world a great deal through smell and associate mom’s scent with comfort and bonding. When mom is distressed, chemical shifts caused by stress hormones may also be perceptible to an infant. They can’t comprehend what those chemical signals mean, but may pick up that something is “off.”
Body Language
From birth, infants are attuned to body language like posture, gestures, and facial tics. When holding a baby, your tension or sadness translates through the stiffness of your body, lack of smiling, and style of touch.
Intuition
One fascinating study found that babies seem to intuit when adults are sad, even without visual or auditory cues. When silent videos of adults with sad facial expressions were played for babies, they responded with concern, perhaps sensing the distress intuitively.
How Do Babies React?
So while the complex roots of maternal depression or anxiety may be beyond a baby’s comprehension, all signs point to them being able to sense it is occurring. But how do they respond? Reactions depend a great deal on age and developmental stage.
Newborns
In the first weeks of life, a baby’s reactions to a mother’s emotional state are reflexive and instinctual. Signs a newborn may be picking up on mom’s distress include:
– More frequent crying
– Increased spitting up or vomiting
– Changes in sleep patterns
– Lower activity levels and lethargy
– Decreased interest in feeding
– Blank staring
At this age, tears are simply a source of stimulation for an infant. They can’t self-soothe and rely fully on caregivers to regulate their emotions. A mother’s sadness can be worrying, but supporting baby’s needs helps mitigate any stress.
2-3 Months
Around 2 months of age, social smiling emerges, allowing babies to reflect emotions. If mom has postpartum depression, her infant may smile less frequently and have a more serious demeanor in response. Other potential signs of a baby noticing and reflecting maternal distress:
– Less vocalizing and babbling
– More crying and fussing, especially during feeding
– Sleep disturbances
– Lack of interest in faces and visual stimuli
Although still not able to self-regulate, a 2-3 month old may offer smiles and coos to try to elicit happiness in a sad mom. Their social development means your emotions now evoke a response beyond just their own distress.
4-7 Months
Between 4-7 months, separation anxiety and stranger wariness emerge. Babies are capable of noticing the difference between a calm, happy mother and one displaying sadness or anxiety. Signs your baby may be picking up on your emotional state include:
– Fussiness during separation
– Less responsiveness to play
– Overattachment and unwillingness to be put down
– Resistance to touch and holding
– Growth delays
To soothe themselves, babies of this age may turn away, avoid eye contact, or calmly self-soothe by sucking their thumb. Building trusts through play helps relieve any tension.
8-12 Months
In later infancy, an awareness of emotions comes into sharper focus. Babies can discern what basic feelings mean, and may respond to a mother’s tears with concern. Reactions to a sad or distressed mom can include:
– Clinging behaviors
– Uncharacteristic shyness
– Withdrawal
– Lack of interest in play
– Overattention to mother’s emotions
– Regressive behaviors like flailing arms
– Crying and tearfulness
Affection, cuddling, and happy play can help reassure a baby that mom is okay. At this age, emotions can be contagious, so modeling laughter and joy eases tension.
Does Maternal Distress Impact Development?
A mother’s chronic distress certainly impacts a baby’s day-to-day mood and behavior. But what about ongoing development?
Research indicates several potential issues:
Attachment
The bond formed between mother and infant lays the foundation for future relationships. But sadness, depression, and anxiety can interfere with sensitive responding, affection, and attunement to baby’s needs. This may impede formation of a secure attachment style.
Stress Response
A mother’s depression or anxiety triggers a baby’s own physiological stress response, characterized by elevated cortisol levels. Ongoing stress early in life can alter nervous system functioning. This makes infants more vulnerable to issues like post-traumatic stress later on.
Language Skills
Language development relies heavily on parental responsiveness and interaction. Depression often leads to mothers being less vocally, visually, and emotionally stimulating. Without this input, communication milestones can lag.
Cognitive Performance
Infants of depressed mothers may show lags in cognition, learning, and information processing. The reasons are complex, involving factors like elevated stress hormones, lack of stimulation, and genetic predispositions. Delays may resolve if mom’s mood improves.
Psychological Outcomes
Research shows babies with depressed moms are more likely to develop:
– Behavioral disorders
– Attachment disorders
– Mood disorders
– Anxiety disorders
– ADHD
– ASD
The risk is dose-dependent. The more severe and chronic mom’s distress, the higher baby’s risk of emotional/behavioral issues.
Managing Emotions Around Baby
It’s clear babies are impacted by what moms feel. Here are some tips for minimizing the stress when you’re experiencing big emotions:
– Take a break when needed. Place baby somewhere safe like a crib and step away to calm down.
– Speak gently. Use an upbeat, lilting tone even if you’re sad. It reassures baby.
– Get support. Ask trusted friends and family for help during difficult times.
– Practice self-care. Make time to maintain your mental health through healthy outlets.
– Talk to your doctor. Get screened for postpartum depression/anxiety if emotions feel out of control.
– Model happiness. Make an effort to smile, laugh, and act joyful even when you’re not feeling it. It’s contagious for baby.
– Stimulate your baby. Engage them with songs, books, and activities to lift their mood too.
– Recognize your impact. Know that you set the emotional tone for your infant.
– Bond through playtime. Dedicate daily attention to having fun together.
– Reach out. Other moms are dealing with the same issue. Connect for support.
The Bottom Line
Babies are remarkably perceptive, able to sense when mom is sad or distressed. This can have an observable impact on their mood, behavior, development, and psychological outcomes. While postpartum depression is common, a mother’s conscious efforts to manage her emotions and prioritize bonding helps ensure baby grows up happy, healthy, and secure. With extra love and care, even the roughest patches can be navigated smoothly. If depression or anxiety ever feel out of control, professional help is available.