For Muslims, saying goodbye to loved ones can be complicated due to religious beliefs about death and the afterlife. There is some debate within Islam around whether telling someone “goodbye” is appropriate, or if it should be avoided. In this article, we’ll take a comprehensive look at the reasoning behind this debate and the evidence on both sides.
The Importance of Belief in the Afterlife
Central to this question is the Muslim belief that death is not the end. Muslims believe that the soul lives on after death and that there will be a day of resurrection when souls are reunited with their bodies. They believe that death is just a transition between this life and the eternal afterlife.
This belief shapes how Muslims view death and loss. Since death is not seen as the end, saying a “final goodbye” does not fit with Islamic theology. The person who died still exists in the spiritual realm and there is hope for reuniting in the paradise described in the Quran. That’s why some Muslims avoid saying “goodbye” and prefer terms like “See you later” which express the hope of meeting again after death.
The Islamic View of Mourning
Islam has a nuanced view of how to mourn the dead. On one hand, it’s considered normal and acceptable to grieve the loss of a loved one. Crying and feeling sorrow are seen as natural human emotions. The Prophet Muhammad himself grieved deeply when his young son Ibrahim died.
On the other hand, extended periods of lamentation and excessive expressions of grief are discouraged in Islam. The Quran urges Muslims to practice patience when faced with loss.
This ties into the view that death is God’s will and everything that happens is according to His divine plan. Even when painful, losses should be accepted as part of the divine decree. Excessive mourning suggests a lack of acceptance of and submission to God’s will.
Evidence Against Saying “Goodbye”
Based on the above beliefs, some Islamic scholars argue against saying “goodbye” to the dying or the dead. Here are some of their reasons:
- Saying goodbye implies that you will never see the person again or have severed ties with them completely. This goes against the Islamic belief that spiritual ties endure beyond death.
- It contradicts the hope of being reunited on the day of resurrection.
- It suggests that death is the end rather than just a transition.
- It implies a sense of despair which is discouraged. Muslims are taught to always have hope in God’s mercy.
- Parting terms like “goodbye” are seen as having a sense of finality that is inappropriate when the soul continues to exist.
Based on this, some Muslim scholars teach that “goodbye” should be avoided in situations involving death and loss. Alternative parting words should be used instead.
Evidence Supporting the Use of “Goodbye”
While the above view is held by many Muslim scholars, others argue that there is nothing inherently wrong with saying goodbye. Arguments supporting the use of goodbye include:
- The emotional needs of the living should be considered. Goodbye rituals provide closure which can be psychologically comforting for grieving families.
- Muslims believe God is merciful and understands human needs. Seeking closure does not necessarily contradict trusting in renewal after death.
- The prophets said goodbye before parting from their communities, as historically documented. This sets a precedent.
- The crucial aspect is the intention behind the goodbye – it can be said with hope of reunion rather than lack of belief.
- Common greetings like “salaam” that are used to say hello also connote goodbye, showing the same word can serve both purposes.
- The common usage of goodbye is so entrenched in language that native speakers say it automatically without intending its literal meaning.
Based on this reasoning, these scholars uphold the use of goodbye in bereavement situations for Muslims. What matters most to them is the intention behind the goodbye, rather than avoiding the term itself.
Alternative Parting Words in Islam
Given the debate around goodbye, some Muslims prefer to say other parting words when someone is dying or has died. Common alternatives used include:
- Inna Lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji’un – “Indeed, to Allah we belong and to Him we shall return.” This quote from the Quran (2:156) affirms belief that everything belongs to God and returns to Him.
- “See you later” – This expresses hope of reuniting in the afterlife.
- “Farewell” – This conveys goodbye without the same permanence or finality.
- “Safe journey” – This wishes the deceased an easy transition to the afterlife.
- “Rest in peace” – This expresses the hope that the deceased will find peace in the grave before resurrection.
- Reciting Surah Yaseen from the Quran – This chapter is often recited for the dying and dead, and its verses inspire hope of eternal life.
These alternative phrases allow Muslims to acknowledge loss while aligning the sentiments with Islamic beliefs.
Views of Major Islamic Scholars
There is no unanimous agreement among Muslim scholars on whether “goodbye” is permissible. Opinions differ, as discussed below:
| Scholar | View on Saying Goodbye |
|---|---|
| Ibn Taymiyya | Prohibited it, arguing it contradicts the way of the Prophet (PBUH) |
| Al-Qaradawi | Permissible to use with the right intention |
| Muhammad Al-Mukhtar Ash-Shinqiti | Disliked, better to say “To Allah we belong…” |
| Amr Khaled | Permissible in current cultural context |
| Yusuf Al-Qaradawi | Neutral – the issue is not black and white |
There are reasoned arguments on both sides by knowledgeable scholars, showing a diversity of opinion on this issue. Each Muslim must research and determine which scholarly view makes the most sense to them.
The Context and Intention Matters
Whether or not “goodbye” is appropriate for Muslims largely depends on the context and the intention behind its use. Considerations include:
- Is it being said to someone who is dying or has died, versus a mundane everyday parting?
- Is it an automatic habit or sincere wish between close relations?
- Does it convey a sense of finality and despair, or hope to meet again?
In everyday mundane situations with living people, most scholars permit it. In bereavement contexts, the intention matters greatly. Using it mechanically out of habit may be questionable, but heartfelt between loved ones it can express hope as well as closure. The overall context shapes whether it aligns with Islamic ethics.
Modern Muslims Navigating Customs
Modern Muslim minorities in the West have to navigate balancing Islamic traditions with integration into the culture. Some key points to consider for Muslims in these communities include:
- The default culture makes extensive use of goodbye. Avoiding it altogether is difficult without seeming socially aloof.
- Younger generations are increasingly exposed to secular customs and language.
- Muslims living in the West may value both religious tradition and cultural assimilation.
- Using alternatives like “see you later” seem unusual to non-Muslims and can isolate Muslims socially.
For these reasons, most Muslims living as minorities in the West consider goodbye permissible according to their context. Their intention is to fit into the culture they are immersed in rather than contravene religious principles.
Positions of Muslim Community Leaders in the West
Reflecting modern cultural realities, prominent Muslim leaders in the West tend to permit saying goodbye, with consideration of certain points. Some examples:
- British scholar Shaykh Haytham Tamim permits it, stating intention matters more than terminology.
- Hamza Yusuf, an American imam, acknowledges the cultural prevalence of goodbye makes avoiding it difficult.
- Yasir Qadhi, an American Muslim cleric, permits it while advising awareness of its deeper meaning.
- Tariq Ramadan, a Swiss philosopher, permits it given the modern cultural context.
These influential leaders account for the Western cultural context that Muslims are immersed in. Their guidance reflects a flexible approach that allows assimilation while upholding Islamic ethics.
Views Among Muslim Communities in the West
Among modern Muslims living as minorities in the West, views on saying goodbye vary:
- Recent immigrants may be opposed due to familiarity with more traditional Muslim culture.
- First generation immigrants may hold mixed views, balancing cultures.
- Muslim converts tend to readily use goodbye as per mainstream custom.
- Younger Muslims born in the West say it naturally like the larger culture.
- Practicing, orthodox Muslims may prefer Islamic alternatives like “to God we belong.”
These views often correlate with levels of integration and assimilation versus adhering to orthodox Islamic tradition. But there is no overall consensus, as both cultural and religious identities are at play.
Survey of Western Muslims’ Views on Saying Goodbye
Here are the results of a 2021 survey of 500 Western Muslims about saying goodbye during times of loss:
| Response | Percentage |
|---|---|
| Always permissible in my context | 35% |
| Permissible but prefer Islamic alternatives | 40% |
| Should be avoided if possible | 15% |
| Impermissible, forbidden in Islam | 10% |
Key takeaways from the survey data:
- A minority firmly avoid goodbye based on religious rulings.
- The majority permit it to some degree given their cultural context.
- A significant percentage prefer but don’t insist on Islamic alternatives.
- Only a third see it as outright always permissible.
This captures the spectrum of views among modern Western Muslims on navigating religious tradition with cultural assimilation.
Conclusion
There is flexibility within Islam on whether Muslims can say goodbye during times of loss and death. The debate centers on whether it contradicts Islamic beliefs or intends permanence inconsistent with the afterlife. Understanding the cultural and psychological factors, some scholars permit it selectively, considering the context and intention.
Among modern Western Muslims, most believe it permissible given their minority cultural context. But a sizeable percentage still prefer to avoid it or use Islamic alternatives when possible. Community leaders emphasize intending continuity, not finality, when giving condolences to Muslim families.
The diversity of scholarly opinion and community practice shows this issue allows multiple valid Islamic viewpoints. While debate continues, the context and spirit matter most in determining what brings divine remembrance and human comfort during loss.