The death of a spouse is one of the most emotionally devastating events a person can experience. The loss of a lifelong partner, confidant, and friend can cause overwhelming grief and pain. In the aftermath of such a loss, some surviving spouses develop post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). PTSD is a mental health condition triggered by experiencing or witnessing a terrifying event. Symptoms may include flashbacks, nightmares, severe anxiety, and uncontrollable thoughts about the event. When the death of a spouse leads to PTSD, the surviving spouse relives the pain and trauma of the loss over and over. Treatment can help, but PTSD can be a long-lasting and disruptive condition.
What is PTSD?
PTSD stands for post-traumatic stress disorder. It is a mental health condition triggered by experiencing or witnessing an event that causes intense fear, horror, or powerlessness. Symptoms of PTSD fall into four main categories:
- Intrusive memories – Repeated, distressing memories or dreams of the event. Flashbacks that make the event seem like it’s happening again.
- Avoidance – Avoiding thoughts, feelings, or external reminders of the event.
- Negative changes in thinking or mood – Feeling detached, numb, or different from who you were before the event. Having distorted negative beliefs and thoughts about yourself or the world.
- Changes in physical and emotional reactions – Being easily startled or feeling tense and on edge. Having angry outbursts or aggressive behavior.
These symptoms last for more than a month after the traumatic event and significantly impair daily functioning. PTSD is typically treated with psychotherapy and medication. With appropriate treatment, many people with PTSD can recover within 6 months to a year.
Can the death of a spouse cause PTSD?
Yes, the death of a spouse can lead to PTSD in the surviving partner. Researchers estimate that around 10-15% of bereaved spouses develop clinically significant PTSD symptoms in the months following their loss. Rates may be higher for deaths that were sudden or traumatic in nature.
Some key points about spouse death and PTSD include:
- Bereavement is a severe psychological stressor that can trigger PTSD symptoms.
- Seeing a loved one suffer or die is a Criterion A trauma that meets the threshold for triggering PTSD.
- The loss of a spouse shatters assumptions about the world and can create feelings of helplessness.
- Symptoms like re-experiencing the death point to PTSD rather than normal grief.
A PTSD diagnosis requires exposure to actual or threatened death, injury, or sexual violation. The death of a spouse meets this criterion. While painful, normal bereavement symptoms tend to lessen over time. With PTSD, symptoms persist and impair functioning.
Risk factors
Certain factors appear to increase the risk of developing PTSD after losing a spouse:
- Traumatic death – Deaths that are sudden, violent, or accidentally caused are more likely to trigger PTSD than expected deaths from old age or illness.
- Witnessing the death – Being present during or just after the death poses a higher PTSD risk.
- Time since death – Symptoms may worsen in the 1-2 years after the death versus the initial grieving period.
- Depression – Pre-existing depression increases susceptibility to PTSD when faced with traumatic loss.
- Lack of social support – Poor social support after the death elevates PTSD risk.
- Financial/legal problems – Stress from financial and legal issues after the death make PTSD more likely.
Knowing these risk factors can help identify spouses most vulnerable to developing PTSD so support and treatment can be provided.
Symptoms
Many symptoms of grief after a spouse’s death are similar to PTSD symptoms. But with true PTSD, symptoms persist for months and impair normal functioning. PTSD symptoms specifically linked to the death of a spouse may include:
- Intrusive memories or flashbacks about the death, funeral, or seeing the spouse’s body
- Nightmares about the circumstances of the death
- Severe emotional or physical reactions to reminders of the deceased spouse
- Extreme avoidance of places, objects, people, or other reminders of the spouse
- Emotional numbness or sense of detachment from others
- Feeling that life is meaningless without the spouse
- Trouble remembering aspects of the death due to dissociation
- Irritability, angry outbursts, feeling suddenly scared or confused
- Excessive guilt or shame over the spouse’s death
PTSD from a spouse’s death may not appear until months or years after the loss. The surviving spouse may seem to be coping but then symptoms increase over time. Getting treatment quickly can prevent PTSD from becoming severe.
Treatment
Treatment of PTSD caused by a spouse’s death may include:
- Psychotherapy – Trauma-focused cognitive behavioral therapy helps process grief and change unhelpful thought patterns. Support groups provide community.
- Medication – Antidepressants like Zoloft and Paxil and anti-anxiety drugs like Klonopin can relieve symptoms.
- EMDR – Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) helps reprocess memories of the death.
- Self-care – Stress management, healthy eating, exercise, and sleep hygiene supports PTSD treatment.
Treatment typically focuses on both managing grief and targeting PTSD symptoms. Therapy provides coping skills while medication relieves associated anxiety and depression. Support groups help grieving spouses see they are not alone.
With professional help, PTSD caused by a spouse’s death can be successfully treated. Many spouses find meaning again and experience post-traumatic growth. The pain never disappears fully but life goes on.
Coping strategies
The following strategies may help spouses cope with grief-related PTSD:
- Allow yourself to fully grieve with support from loved ones.
- Postpone major life decisions for at least a year.
- Take things one day at a time without demanding too much.
- Reminisce about positive memories with your spouse.
- Engage in calming activities like light exercise, yoga, or meditation.
- Maintain routines for eating, sleeping, work, and socializing.
- Join a grief support group to feel less alone.
- Consider keeping a grief journal.
- Learn your grief triggers and avoidExposure when possible.
- Be patient with yourself and get professional help if needed.
The excruciating pain of losing a spouse lessens over time. Coping strategies and support can ease this difficult journey. With PTSD treatment, you can reconcile loss with positive growth.
When to see a doctor
It’s normal to experience profound grief, distress, and sadness after a spouse dies. But if certain thresholds are crossed, it may signify PTSD requiring medical attention. Consider seeing a doctor or mental health professional if you experience:
- Intense flashbacks, nightmares, or intrusive thoughts for over a month
- Panic attacks or debilitating anxiety
- Disconnected from reality or unable to remember parts of the death
- No relief from anguish and pain over time
- Suicidal thoughts or self-destructive behavior
- Unable to care for yourself or function normally
- Using alcohol or drugs to numb the pain
- Prolonged depression with no joy in life
Getting professional support facilitates healing from grief-induced trauma. Doctors can provide medication while therapists offer coping strategies tailored to your needs. With time and treatment, hope and happiness are possible again.
How common is spouse death PTSD?
Research estimates that around 10-15% of surviving spouses develop clinically significant PTSD symptoms in the 1-2 years following their partner’s death. Rates appear higher when:
- The death was unexpected or traumatic
- The surviving spouse witnessed or learned of disturbing details around the death
- The surviving spouse already had PTSD or depression
- The surviving spouse lacked adequate social support after the death
Prevalence by cause of death
| Cause of Death | PTSD Prevalence |
|---|---|
| Natural anticipated death (e.g. old age) | 5-10% |
| Natural sudden death (e.g. heart attack) | 10-15% |
| Accident, suicide, homicide | 20-40% |
As these statistics show, PTSD rates increase when the death is unexpected and traumatic in nature. Even natural sudden deaths triple the risk compared to expected natural deaths. Accidental, violent, and intentional deaths have the highest risk. But PTSD can occur after any cause of spousal loss.
Does PTSD impact grieving?
Developing PTSD after a spouse’s death can significantly complicate the grieving process in several ways:
- PTSD causes hyperarousal symptoms that impair relaxation needed to process grief.
- Re-experiencing symptoms like flashbacks disrupt the natural course of grieving.
- Emotional numbness may inhibit expressions of grief.
- Extreme avoidance hinders adapting to life without the spouse.
- Depression and despair may be amplified.
- Anger, guilt, and shame may be intensified if death was traumatic.
- Healing is delayed with impaired functioning.
Despite these complications, PTSD treatment can open the door to less obstructed grieving. Therapies like EMDR directly target blocks in the grief process so it can follow a healthier trajectory. While grieving with PTSD is challenging, reconciliation and growth are still possible.
Does grief ever go away?
The grief that arises after a spouse’s death naturally diminishes in intensity over time. But it never disappears completely. Even years later, pangs of grief may resurface occasionally in response to reminders. Key points include:
- The acute pain and despair of early bereavement fades as the loss is processed.
- Coping skills and new routines help the surviving spouse adapt to everyday life.
- Occasional periods of renewed grief may occur around anniversaries, holidays, etc.
- Grief becomes integrated into the identity rather than erasing the loss.
- Fond memories and emotions toward the deceased remain.
- Meaning and purpose can be found again with the spouse’s memory living on.
Grieving the death of a spouse is a lifelong journey. But in time, the unbearable sorrow gives way to peaceful remembrance and revival of the spirit.
Conclusion
The death of a beloved spouse is incredibly hard to bear. While intense grief is normal, some surviving partners develop PTSD from the trauma of the loss. This impedes healing and prolongs pain. Spouses at higher risk for PTSD tend to have experienced traumatic deaths lacking social support. Symptoms like flashbacks and avoidance signal PTSD versus standard bereavement. With professional treatment and self-care, PTSD symptoms can be managed. Though grief endures, life regains meaning. human connection blossoms again. The survivor finds purpose honoring the spouse’s memory. And the once-broken heart mends stronger than before.