Many people assume that autistic individuals struggle with social skills and cannot connect well with others. However, this is an overgeneralization and ignores the diversity within the autism spectrum. The truth is, some autistic people have strong social skills, while others find social interactions more difficult.
What are Social Skills?
Social skills refer to the ability to communicate and interact with others effectively and appropriately. Key social skills include:
- Verbal communication skills like speaking clearly and listening attentively
- Nonverbal communication skills like making eye contact and interpreting body language
- Conversational skills like taking turns talking and staying on topic
- Empathy and perspective-taking
- Understanding social norms and acting accordingly
- Managing emotions and controlling impulses
- Developing and maintaining relationships
Having strong social skills allows people to connect with others, cultivate friendships, navigate group settings, and avoid interpersonal conflicts. Those with weaker social skills may struggle in social situations and have trouble relating to others.
Social Skills and Autism
Many autistic individuals have challenges with social skills that are rooted in the key features of autism spectrum disorder (ASD):
- Social communication difficulties like problems with conversational back-and-forth
- Restricted, repetitive behaviors that may seem atypical or disruptive in social settings
- Sensory sensitivity that can make group settings overwhelming
- Difficulty relating to others socially and empathetically
Additionally, autistic people may interpret subtle social cues differently or have trouble adjusting their behavior based on situational norms. These tendencies can make social interactions challenging.
However, social skill difficulties are not universal among autistic individuals. Some have strong social skills that emerge with age, interventions, education, self-awareness, and social exposures. Even those who find social situations difficult can improve their skills substantially, especially when provided targeted support.
Evidence that Some Autistic People Have Strong Social Skills
While social challenges are common among autistic people, research shows that social skill ability exists on a spectrum:
- One study found that around 30% of autistic children had social skills within the typical range by age 10. Their social difficulties were no worse than their non-autistic peers.
- Some autistic people are socially motivated and interested in friendships but need help navigating social complexity. With coaching, their social skills can improve.
- A literature review found that the social skills of autistic adolescents and adults often improve with age. Many are able to successfully cultivate friendships and relationships.
- Autistic college students report having satisfying friendships, despite social challenges. Some even take on leadership roles in campus organizations.
- One study found that autistic adults without intellectual disability perform similarly to non-autistic adults on tests of social and emotional skills. Their real-world social struggles stem more from anxiety than ability deficits.
These studies demonstrate that while autistic traits can create social barriers, innate social motivation and capacity exist across the autism spectrum. With the right supports, the social skills of autistic people can flourish.
Factors Influencing Social Skill Development in Autism
Several key factors shape the social trajectory of autistic individuals:
1. Level of Support Needs
Autistic people with high support needs, lower IQs, or intellectual disability tend to have greater social skill deficits. Those with milder autism and higher IQs often have stronger social skills over time.
2. Anxiety Levels
Many autistic people have social anxiety that impedes social interactions. Treating anxiety can uncover existing social capacities.
3. Access to Intervention
Early, targeted social skills training improves outcomes. Ongoing coaching helps autistic people apply emerging skills.
4. Opportunities for Social Inclusion
Positive social exposures boost social learning. Integrated schooling and activities foster skill growth.
5. Self-Awareness and Coping
As autistic people understand their strengths and challenges, they can develop strategies to improve relationships.
Strategies Autistic People Use to Boost Their Social Skills
Many autistic adults leverage their strengths to develop strong social skills over time:
| Strategy | Description |
|---|---|
| Observe and learn social rules | Study patterns in social interactions and unspoken norms |
| Improve communication skills | Work on conversing effectively; listen actively; make eye contact |
| Manage anxiety | Develop calming strategies; face fears gradually; get treatment if needed |
| Practice self-advocacy | Communicate needs directly to reduce misunderstandings |
| Rehearse & plan | Prepare for interactions; think through scenarios |
| Focus outward | Show interest in others; ask questions; listen |
| Find true friends | Bond over shared interests vs. forcing connections |
| Manage overstimulation | Take sensory breaks when needed |
| Set healthy boundaries | Accept own limits; know when to walk away |
Leveraging these strategies allows many autistic individuals to cultivate social success over time, defying limiting stereotypes.
Examples of Autistic People with Strong Social Skills
Many autistic adults thrive socially by playing to their strengths:
- Greta Thunberg – This climate activist has mobilized worldwide social movements through inspirational speaking and advocacy. She connects powerfully despite missing some subtle social cues.
- Satoshi Tajiri – The creator of Pokémon has autism and initially struggled to relate to others as a child. His intense focus enabled him to develop imaginative characters that would capture children’s imaginations across cultures.
- Dan Aykroyd – This famous comedian and actor was diagnosed with Asperger’s as an adult. He succeeded in improvisational comedy and built rapport with audiences through quick humor.
- Temple Grandin – An autism self-advocate and scientist, Grandin overcame social barriers to earn her Ph.D, give acclaimed TED talks, and become a New York Times bestselling author.
- Daryl Hannah – Though shy and bullied as a girl, this actress learned to leverage her autistic traits, like hyperfocus, to excel in her acting career. She chooses roles matching her strengths.
These trailblazers demonstrate that autistic people can find social success by leaning into their talents and making societal accommodations.
Conclusion
While autistic people commonly have social challenges rooted in their neurology, considerable diversity exists in their social skill capacity. Many can and do cultivate strong social skills with the right supports, coping strategies, and opportunities. Social success is possible across the spectrum.