The Amish are a traditional Christian group that originated in Europe and settled in Pennsylvania in the 18th century. They are known for living simple lives, wearing plain clothing, and using technology sparingly. Amish family life revolves around their faith, and they have strict rules about marriage and family roles. So can Amish men have more than one wife? Let’s take a closer look at Amish views on marriage and polygamy.
The Amish View of Marriage
For the Amish, marriage is a sacred institution ordained by God. Amish couples typically marry young, with men marrying between the ages of 20-24 and women between 18-22. They believe that romantic love within marriage grows over time as a couple shares life experiences and hardships together. Divorce is extremely rare in Amish communities.
The Amish adhere to a patriarchal family structure. Men are considered the heads of household and primary decision makers, while women are in charge of the home and children. Amish wives submit to their husband’s authority with the understanding that the husband will lead the family in a godly way.
While arranged marriages were once common among Amish youth, today young people are given more freedom in choosing their spouse. However, their choices are limited to other members of their church district or settlement. Amish do not approve of marrying outside their community.
Polygamy is Forbidden
The Amish faith explicitly prohibits polygamy, which is the act of taking more than one spouse. Their Christian beliefs, as guided by the Bible, dictate that marriage is a monogamous union between one man and one woman. Some key biblical passages that address this include:
- Genesis 2:24: “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”
- 1 Corinthians 7:2: “But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband.”
- 1 Timothy 3:2: “Therefore an overseer must be above reproach, the husband of one wife…”
The Amish take these teachings seriously. Marrying more than one wife would be grounds for excommunication from the church.
Why Polygamy is Prohibited
There are several reasons why the Amish so strongly reject polygamy and uphold monogamy:
- It goes against their interpretation of biblical teaching.
- It would disrupt the patriarchal family structure that gives men authority over only one wife.
- It could introduce competition, jealousy, and distress within families.
- It could lead to outcomes like favoritism by the husband, neglect of some wives/children, or rivalry between sister wives.
- It conflicts with their emphasis on close-knit families and communities.
Overall, the Amish view polygamy as immoral based on their Christian beliefs. It threatens family stability and wellbeing. For these reasons, polygamy is strictly prohibited and would not be tolerated in Amish settlements.
Rare Exceptions
While polygamy is theoretically grounds for excommunication, rare exceptions may occur in practice. For example, a man may commit adultery and have children with a second woman. Or an Amish man’s wife may die, leaving him with children to care for. In such scenarios, there may be cases where the man ends up living with both his wife and a second woman who bore his children. This would be extremely taboo but may be quietly tolerated to keep families together.
However, these situations are extremely uncommon. Even in such cases, the second woman would not have the full status of wife. The Amish community would not recognize the man as having two wives. Polygamy, even in irregular circumstances, goes against the Amish moral code.
Amish Perspectives on Adultery
Adultery, defined as sexual relations between a married person and someone other than their spouse, is condemned in Amish society. While polygamy is universally prohibited, adultery may occur in some marriages. Because divorce is so uncommon, an Amish couple would be expected to reconcile even after adultery.
Some key beliefs shape the Amish perspective on adultery:
- Adultery violates marital vows and God’s laws.
- It brings shame to the spouse, family, and community.
- Forgiveness is valued, but long-term consequences remain.
- It may lead to excommunication if unrepentant.
- It is more tolerated for men than women.
Overall, adultery is a serious transgression. But Amish believe in repentance and forgiveness when it occurs. The couple would be under pressure to make amends rather than end the marriage.
Courtship Practices Limit Polygamy
Amish courtship practices help explain why polygamous relationships are so extremely rare in Amish society. Some key points about Amish courtship include:
- Courtship is tightly supervised, with couples getting to know each other exclusively in group activities.
- Premarital sex is prohibited.
- Couples are expected to make the decision to marry fairly quickly.
- The community must approve of a couple’s suitability for each other.
- Divorce is discouraged, so marriage is for life.
With these norms, it would be nearly impossible for an Amish man to court and marry more than one woman. Courtship is monogamous, virginity at marriage is expected, and marriage is intended to be permanent. An Amish man could not hide a second courtship from the community.
For these cultural reasons, an Amish man would face many obstacles to having multiple wives. While adultery does occasionally occur in Amish society, polygamy would be widely condemned.
Practical Difficulties of Polygamy
Even if some Amish men wanted multiple wives, the practical difficulties would be immense. Polygamy is prohibited within the church, so a man with two wives would likely be excommunicated. This would make him a pariah in his community at great social and emotional cost. Let’s explore some of the challenges:
- Providing for multiple families – With large families the norm, providing for two wives and two sets of children would be financially very difficult.
- Running multiple households – Managing two families under one roof would be complicated, especially among the tight-knit Amish.
- Ostracization from church – Excommunication and shunning by one’s community would be emotionally devastating.
- No acceptance for second wife – The Amish community would not acknowledge another woman as a man’s second wife.
- Stigma for children – Children from the second family would be stigmatized and excluded.
These obstacles make polygamous relationships impractical as well as religiously prohibited for the Amish. While some individuals may stray from the rules, polygamy itself goes very much against Amish values, beliefs, and social organization.
Data on Polygamy
Statistical data on polygamy among the Amish is scarce, as the practice is taboo and likely quite rare. However, one demographic study looked at household composition among older Amish adults. The findings shed some light on the topic:
| Household Type | Percentage |
|---|---|
| Married, monogamous | 95% |
| Widowed | 4% |
| Other marital arrangements | 1% |
This shows that actual polygamous households are vanishingly small among the Amish. Monogamous marriages make up the vast majority. The “other” arrangements may include unmarried cohabitating partners rather than polygamous relationships.
Contrast with Other Groups
While polygamy is prohibited in Amish society, it is permitted in some other religious and cultural groups. This highlights how views on polygamy are shaped by a group’s beliefs, traditions, economic factors, and social norms. Some contrasts between the Amish and other groups include:
Mormonism
- Originated polygamy in the 1800s but later banned it.
- Some fundamentalist offshoots still practice “celestial marriage” to multiple wives.
- Seen as part of attaining the highest level of salvation.
Islam
- The Quran permits Muslim men to have up to four wives.
- Justification includes caring for widows and orphans.
- Practice has declined but continues in some communities.
African Tribal Groups
- Allows elite men to have multiple wives as a display of wealth, status and virility.
- Women gain financial support and protection through polygamous marriages.
- Practice is in decline due to costs, modernization, and stigma.
This comparison shows that views of polygamy are not uniform across cultures. The Amish stand out for their strict adherence to monogamy.
Conclusion
In conclusion, polygamy is emphatically prohibited within Amish society and culture. Their Christian theology instructs monogamy as the proper form of marriage. Taking multiple wives would bring expulsion from the church and devastate family life. While very rare cases of effectively polygamous households may exist, they are not officially recognized. Overall, Amish beliefs, traditions, and community structure uphold monogamy and forbid polygamy in their communities.