New parents often wonder at what age they can let their baby “cry it out” to sleep train them. Sleep training, often called cry it out or Ferberizing, refers to techniques aimed at helping babies learn to fall asleep on their own by allowing them to cry for set periods of time before parents intervene to soothe them. Deciding when to start sleep training is a very personal decision that depends on many factors.
When can babies start crying it out?
Most experts agree that cry it out techniques should not be attempted until babies are at least 4-6 months old. Here are some key reasons why:
- Newborns (0-3 months) – Babies this young need frequent feedings around the clock and cannot physically go extended periods without eating. They also cannot self-soothe and require parental assistance to fall back asleep.
- 4-6 months – By this age, babies are developing the ability to self-soothe. Their sleep cycles become more regular, and they can go longer stretches at night without eating. Cry it out techniques may be introduced gradually during this timeframe.
- 6+ months – Most babies are developmentally ready for some form of sleep training by 6 months. However, every baby is different, so parents should follow their pediatrician’s guidance about the appropriate time to start.
While the 4-6 month timeframe is generally recommended, there are exceptions. Premature babies often take longer to develop self-soothing skills. Any baby with special needs or health conditions may require an adjusted timeline as well.
Is it ever too soon for babies to cry it out?
Yes, attempting cry it out methods too early can be ineffective or even dangerous in some cases. Here are some situations when cry it out is not advised:
- Under 4 months old – Babies this young still need night feedings and lack self-soothing skills.
- Health concerns – Babies with reflux, allergies, or other medical issues may become overly distressed from crying.
- Failure to thrive – Consult a doctor before sleep training babies who have difficulty gaining weight.
- Premature – Adjusted age, not actual age, should guide when to start.
- Separation anxiety – Wait until after the 4-8 month period when separation anxiety peaks.
- Major life changes – Allow babies to adjust after moves, new siblings, vacations, etc before attempting cry it out.
- Parents uncomfortable – Do not force sleep training if parents are extremely hesitant or opposed.
While the 4-6 month guideline is common, some babies may be ready sooner and others later. Pay close attention to baby’s individual development and consult your pediatrician if unsure when to start.
Signs babies are ready to start crying it out
Look for these signs your baby may be ready for sleep training:
- At least 4 months old
- Doubled birth weight
- Eats solid foods regularly
- Sleep cycles more predictable
- Wakes less frequently at night
- Can self-soothe for short periods
While each baby is different, seeing most or all of these signs is a good indicator yours may do well with a gradual approach to cry it out. If your baby still seems extremely unsettled by crying or is unable to self-calm, they likely need more time before initiating sleep training.
Sleep training readiness checklist
Use this simple checklist to determine if your baby is truly ready for sleep training:
| Signs of Readiness | Is My Baby Showing This? |
|---|---|
| At least 4 months old | Yes/No |
| Weight gain on track | Yes/No |
| Can go 3-4 hours between feeds | Yes/No |
| Has regular nap schedule | Yes/No |
| Can self-soothe briefly | Yes/No |
| Cries less frantically | Yes/No |
| Parents are willing and consistent | Yes/No |
If you answered “yes” for most items, your baby is showing signs of readiness. Check with your pediatrician if you have concerns. Proceed cautiously and be prepared to adjust the plan if baby is extremely distressed.
Setting realistic expectations
Implementing cry it out techniques does not always go smoothly or work quickly. Set realistic expectations to avoid frustration:
- Progress may be gradual – Sleep training takes days or weeks, not hours.
- There will be setbacks – Consistency is key through rough patches.
- Extinction bursts happen – Baby may cry harder before it improves.
- Every baby is different – What works for others may not for yours.
- Adjustments will be needed – Be flexible and responsive to baby’s cues.
While cry it out can work wonders when done properly, it is not a magic bullet. Have realistic expectations about the process before beginning.
Conclusion
Deciding when babies are ready to start crying it out is a highly personal choice for families. While most experts recommend waiting until at least 4-6 months, each baby’s individual development should be the guide. Look for signs of readiness like consistent sleep cycles, ability to self-soothe, and taking solid foods regularly. But proceed with caution, adjust based on baby’s cues, and keep realistic expectations about the gradual process. With time and consistency, cry it out can help babies learn to sleep independently.