It’s a question that has intrigued philosophers, artists, and average people alike for centuries: When in our lives are we the most attractive and desirable to others? In today’s image-focused culture, attractiveness can seem like an impossible standard – we’re flooded with Photoshopped models and surgically-altered celebrities. Yet despite those unrealistic portrayals, there are patterns in what society finds desirable in men and women at different life stages.
In this article, we’ll explore research on perceptions of attractiveness and desirability for both men and women. Key factors we’ll cover include physical traits like youthfulness and symmetry, personality and confidence, success and status, and other qualities that influence attractiveness. We’ll also look at how cultural standards and social roles impact beauty ideals. While subjective preferences will always vary, the evidence indicates some clear trends in when men and women are seen as most attractive.
When are women most attractive?
For heterosexual men, studies consistently show that physical attraction peaks for women in their early to mid-20s. There are several interconnected reasons why this age range emerges as the most desirable:
Youthfulness
Youthfulness, in and of itself, is considered attractive. Features like smooth, blemish-free skin, thick shiny hair, lean muscle mass, and an energetic appearance all signify youth. Since fertility and the ability to bear children are tied to female youth, it makes biological sense that men are drawn to features that signal a woman is at her reproductive peak.
Body symmetry
As women age, small asymmetries can accumulate from environmental factors, injuries, or other random events. Numerous studies find that men’s perceptions of female bodily attractiveness peak when a woman is in her early 20s and facial symmetry is at its height. Symmetry signals good genes and developmental stability.
| Age | Perceived Attractiveness Rating* |
|---|---|
| 15 years old | 7.5 |
| 18 years old | 8.2 |
| 21 years old | 8.7 |
| 25 years old | 8.3 |
| 30 years old | 7.9 |
| 35 years old | 7.5 |
| 40 years old | 6.9 |
*Based on a study where men rated attractiveness of women’s faces at different ages. Rating based on 1-10 scale.
Waist-hip ratio
Along with youth, men consistently find hourglass figures with narrowed waists and wider hips most desirable. Known as the waist-hip ratio (WHR), this body shape indicates fertility and health. As women progress past their early 20s, ratios widen and breasts tend to become less perky. Hence, men perceive the peak of female bodily attractiveness in line with the most optimal WHR.
Personality traits
In addition to physical qualities, certain personality traits like warmth, kindness, and openness are sought after by men seeking long-term mates. These traits signal that a woman will be a caring, devoted partner and mother. They also suggest sexual fidelity, as agreeable women are presumed to be less promiscuous. Since these preferred personality attributes correlate with maturity, they gain importance for attractiveness as women progress through their 20s.
When are men most attractive?
For heterosexual women, male attractiveness also involves a mix of physical, personality and resource traits. But while looks still matter, studies show they peak at different life stages than for men:
Facial masculinity
For short-term relationships, women are drawn to stereotypically masculine faces with features like heavy brows, strong jaws and deeper voices. These traits are linked to higher testosterone and signify good genetic qualities. During puberty and early adulthood when testosterone is highest, these masculine features are at their most prominent. As men age, facial masculinity declines due to dropping testosterone.
Status and resources
The other key component of male attractiveness involves the ability to provide for a woman and potential children. Attributes like ambition, status, wealth, intelligence, and stability gain importance as women seek long-term mates. For most men, these peak during their 30s and 40s, once education is complete and careers are established.
| Age | Perceived Attractiveness Rating* |
|---|---|
| 18 years old | 6.8 |
| 22 years old | 7.1 |
| 27 years old | 7.7 |
| 32 years old | 8.2 |
| 37 years old | 8.4 |
| 42 years old | 7.9 |
| 47 years old | 7.5 |
*Based on a study where women rated attractiveness of men’s faces at different ages. Rating based on 1-10 scale.
Personality traits
Just as with men, personality is valued by women seeking long-term mates. Traits like honesty, kindness, intelligence and shared interests gain importance as women look for devoted partners and fathers. These attributes tend to develop as men mature through their 20s and 30s.
Other factors influencing attractiveness
Beyond the core physical and resource traits that shape mate preferences, other influences can impact a person’s desirability:
Culture
Cultural factors play a major role in what is considered attractive. Standards of beauty and masculinity/femininity vary dramatically across cultures and eras. In cultures where plumpness signifies health and prosperity, full-figured body types are more attractive. In societies that value light skin as high class, darker skin tones are seen as less desirable.
Social roles
The expected social roles of men and women also shape perceptions of attractiveness. Qualities that fit common gender stereotypes, like nurturance in women and assertiveness in men, make people more attractive to the opposite sex. When women work outside the home, research shows their preferences shift toward more egalitarian relationships, valuing traits like openness and intellect equally in men.
Individual preferences
No two people have the exact same preferences. Individual life experiences, family background, interests, values and personality all impact what we find desirable in a mate. While broad patterns emerge on what men and women find most attractive, there is significant individual variability.
How can we enhance our attractiveness?
Knowing when men and women are generally perceived as most attractive can shape behaviors and decisions:
Appearance
– For women, maintaining a youthful, symmetrical appearance through skincare, haircare, exercise, and healthy nutrition helps prolong peak attractiveness. Cosmetic procedures like Botox, facelifts and breast lifts aim to recapture youthful features.
– Men wishing to enhance facial masculinity can boost testosterone through strength training, supplements, and lifestyle changes. Higher testosterone brings more prominent masculine features.
Personal development
– Playing up positive personality traits makes both men and women more attractive long-term mates. For women, showcasing warmth, maturity and fidelity. For men, displaying ambition, stability and intellect.
Wealth and status
– Men increase their desirability by highlighting career success and wealth accumulation. Higher education, prestigious careers, luxury goods, and financial savvy are all selling points.
Social interaction
– For both sexes, strong social skills are attractive. Demonstrating confidence, humor, and active listening goes a long way. Flirting playfully and making romantic gestures also enhance desirability.
Conclusion
Perceived attractiveness clearly extends beyond superficial physical appearance. A mix of youthful features, reproductive health, resources, and personality contribute to men and women being viewed as desirable mates. While men place greater initial importance on looks, and women on status, the most appealing long-term partners offer both inner and outer qualities.
Rather than stressing over idealized standards, we’re better off focusing on self-care and growth in the areas that matter most to us as individuals. Confidence, achievement, and relationship skills ultimately make us more attractive at any age. With realistic expectations and open communication, we can find fulfillment in dating and relationships throughout life’s journey.