Many people find themselves living alone at some point in their lives. Perhaps they’ve moved to a new city for a job, gotten divorced or separated, or simply never settled down with a partner. While living alone has its perks like freedom and solitude, it can also be isolating and lonely for some. So it raises the question – are humans meant to live alone or are we social creatures at heart?
Historical context
For most of human history, people lived together in tribes, clans, and family units. Solitary living was very rare as humans depended on each other for survival. Division of labor, sharing resources, child-rearing, and protection from threats were all communal activities. Even when people began forming small settlements and villages, the households consisted of large multi-generational families. The concept of nuclear families living separately in single-dwelling homes only arose in the last few centuries.
So from an anthropological standpoint, humans are adapted over thousands of years to live in close-knit social groups with intimate daily interactions. Though society has evolved rapidly, our brains and bodies are still “wired” for togetherness.
Evolutionary drivers
Human evolution also suggests that companionship increased chances of survival. According to the “social brain hypothesis”, the larger human brain developed over generations to support complex social interaction. Navigating social structures required intelligence, communication skills, empathy, and cooperation. Early humans with these social traits were more successful finding mates, raising offspring, and avoiding threats.
Additionally, emotional health and wellbeing are tied to social bonds. Isolation can activate the “fight-or-flight” stress response which takes a toll over time. Social connection triggers release of oxytocin which counters stress. It lowers blood pressure, improves immunity, and reduces anxiety and depression. For ongoing survival and reproduction, humans needed to be part of protective group bonds.
Psychological effects of solitary living
Though occasional solitude can be restorative, extended isolation tends to have negative psychological effects including:
- Increased stress, anxiety, and depression
- Higher likelihood of substance abuse
- Cognitive decline and memory loss
- Poor sleep quality
- Reduced motivation and difficulty concentrating
- Lack of sense of meaning or purpose
These effects underscore that human wellbeing depends quite a bit on social connections. Though some introverts may avoid excessive social stimulation, complete isolation runs counter to human psychology.
Social Neuroscience insights
The emerging field of social neuroscience further illuminates the biological underpinnings of social needs. MRI studies show that social rejection activates the same brain regions that process physical pain. The human brain is highly attuned to social rewards like approval, affection, laughter, and companionship. When these rewards are absent, it can negatively impact both mental and physical health.
Additionally, close physical proximity with attachment figures triggers release of neurotransmitters like oxytocin and endogenous opioids. These biochemicals alleviate stress and anxiety creating a sense of calmness and security. Without any long-term attachment relationships, people miss out on these neurobiological benefits.
Prevalence of solitary living
While solitary living goes against human’s innate social nature, it has become more common for various reasons including:
- More people relocating for jobs or education
- Higher divorce rates than past generations
- Delayed marriage and childbearing
- Increased economic independence of women
- Longer lifespan leading to more years spent widowed
- Lower birth rates leading to smaller family sizes
- Urbanization and loss of traditional extended family structures
Here are some statistics on the prevalence of solitary living:
| 27% | U.S. adults living alone in 2021, up from 17% in 1970 |
| 35% | U.S adults aged 18-35 living alone in 2021 |
| 42% | U.S adults aged 35-54 living alone in 2021 |
| 18% | Canadian adults living alone in 2016 |
| 12% | UK adults living alone in 2019 |
| 15% | Australian adults living alone in 2016 |
While these trends contribute to more isolated living, they do not change the underlying human need for companionship.
Physical health impacts
Research has linked social isolation and loneliness to a range of physical health risks including:
- Weakened immune system
- Increased inflammation
- Higher blood pressure
- Increased risk of heart disease and stroke
- Faster cognitive decline and dementia
- Earlier onset of disability from chronic conditions
- Poor sleep quality
Conversely, supportive social relationships have been shown to enhance physical wellbeing and longevity. Hence, human biology is adapted for living in socially interconnected tribes or communities.
Mental health impacts
From a mental health standpoint, human beings also fare better when embedded in healthy social networks. Numerous studies reveal that social isolation and lack of community are linked to:
- Increased depression and anxiety
- Higher risk of self-harm and suicide
- More mood and personality disorders
- Earlier onset of cognitive decline and dementia
- Increased paranoia and fear
- Lower overall wellbeing and life satisfaction
For instance, a 2010 meta-analysis published in PLOS Medicine concluded that inadequate social relationships have a mortality risk equivalent to smoking 15 cigarettes a day. This highlights that social connectivity is a crucial human need closely tied to mental health.
Coping mechanisms for living alone
Despite the challenges, living alone does not have to equate being lonely or isolated. There are many healthy coping techniques to meet social needs while living solo including:
- Spending time with friends
- Seeking hobbies and activities that provide meaning and purpose
- Joining community organizations, classes, or interest groups to find like-minded people
- Volunteering to help others
- Keeping in regular phone/video contact with family and friends
- Getting a pet for companionship
- Developing relationships with neighbors
- Co-living in shared or communal housing to reduce isolation
With some adaptation, it is certainly possible to cultivate a rich social life even while flying solo. But it requires intentionally constructing a diverse support network.
Healthy social norms
Societal expectations can also influence how socially connected people feel while living alone. In individualistic cultures like the United States, the stigma around being single may compound feelings of isolation. However, some collectivist societies are more accepting of diverse living arrangements.
For example, many Nordic countries have the concept of “alone togetherness” where individuals feel comfortable dining, traveling, or going to events solo. There is less stigma around pursuing personal interests independently. This cultural permission enables citizens to remain socially engaged while living autonomously.
Impact on different age groups
The effects of solitary living also vary by age demographic:
Young adults
Living alone in young adulthood may impede forming relationships and learning cooperative life skills. But this period also involves self-discovery so solitude can be constructive in moderation.
Midlife adults
This group may feel socially isolated after breakups or relocations. But midlife presents opportunities to forge new friendships and interests. Taking up hobbies, traveling, or rejoining the workforce can provide socialization.
Elderly adults
Many older adults live alone due to widowhood or shrinking family sizes. Physical immobility also reduces social contact. Loneliness in elderly can exacerbate cognitive decline and loss of independence. They benefit greatly from community support and home visits.
Conclusion
Humans are inherently social creatures with an evolutionary and neurobiological need for companionship. Though solitary living has become more prevalent due to sociodemographic shifts, complete isolation can take a toll on health and wellbeing. However, it is certainly possible to cultivate meaningful relationships and stay socially engaged while living alone with intention and effort. The challenges of being solitary differ across age groups. With some adaptations to routines and a supportive cultural context, people can thrive living solo without being lonely. But human beings fundamentally crave the intimacy, security, purpose, and sense of belonging that relationships provide. So while occasional solitude can be rejuvenating, the answer to “Are we meant to live alone?” is likely no. Humans need tribe.