Are narcissists cheap with money?

Narcissism is a personality trait characterized by grandiosity, pride, egotism, and a lack of empathy. Narcissists tend to have an inflated sense of self-importance and feel entitled to special treatment. There has been some debate around whether narcissists also tend to be stingy or cheap when it comes to spending money on others compared to themselves.

Table of Contents

What is narcissism?

Narcissism exists on a spectrum, with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) at the extreme end. The main characteristics of narcissism include:

An exaggerated sense of self-importance
A sense of entitlement and expectation of special treatment
A preoccupation with fantasies of success, power, and attractiveness

A belief they are superior and can only be understood by other special people
A need for excessive admiration
A sense of entitlement

Exploitative behavior in relationships
A lack of empathy
Envy of others and belief others envy them

Arrogant or haughty attitudes and behaviors

Narcissism exists on a spectrum, with narcissistic personality disorder representing the extreme end. Many people can exhibit some narcissistic tendencies without meeting the full diagnostic criteria for NPD.

Do narcissists tend to be stingy with their money?

There are a few key reasons why narcissists may tend to be stingy or tight-fisted when it comes to spending money on others:

Sense of entitlement – Narcissists have an inflated sense of self-importance and feel they deserve the best of everything. They may be reluctant to spend money on others whom they feel are less deserving.
Lack of empathy – With their lack of empathy and focus on themselves, narcissists often don’t consider the needs or wants of others. They don’t see why they should spend their hard-earned money on other people.
Need for control – Narcissists like being in control and getting their way. Being tight with their money is one way they can maintain control in relationships and dictate how money is spent.

Need for admiration – By spending money lavishly on themselves, narcissists are able to show off and draw admiration or envy from others. They may be less inclined to share this money freely with others.
Selfishness – Narcissists are fundamentally selfish and self-absorbed. Spending money on others may be seen as a waste when it could be spent making themselves happy.

That said, narcissism exists on a spectrum, so not all narcissists will be completely stingy. Their level of generosity may depend on factors like who the recipient is and what the narcissist has to gain from spending money on them.

What does research say about narcissism and stinginess?

A number of studies have investigated the link between narcissism and stinginess when it comes to spending money:

A 2020 study found that narcissism was linked to stinginess in financial decision-making. Narcissists were less generous when asked to divide money between themselves and others in experimental games.¹
A 2016 study reported narcissists were less likely to donate money to charity unless there was an ego payoff for them, like public recognition of their donation. This suggests narcissists are willing to be generous only when they stand to gain status or admiration.²

A 2008 study found that while narcissists were willing to spend more money on themselves, they were stingy when asked to spend money on charity donations or gifts for friends. The researchers concluded narcissists see spending money on others as a “waste.”³

Overall, these and other studies demonstrate narcissists are mainly selfish and self-serving when it comes to money. They spend freely on themselves to satisfy their grandiosity and desire for status. But they are stingy when it comes to freely spending money on others or donating to charity, as they don’t see the benefit for themselves.

Do narcissists see generosity as a weakness?

Given their fundamentally selfish nature and lack of empathy, many narcissists do seem to view generosity or charitable spending as a weakness rather than a strength. Some key reasons for this include:

Narcissists have a Darwinian view of the world where it’s survival of the fittest. Generosity is seen as softness that goes against their dog-eat-dog mentality.
They feel they deserve preferential treatment over others deemed less worthy or important. Generosity violates their sense of entitlement.
It threatens their need for control. Being generous means relinquishing control over resources the narcissist feels they have the right to.

It conflicts with their need to get ahead of others and come out on top. Generosity requires compromising their primary goal of serving themselves.

In summary, for many narcissists, freely spending money on others or charitable causes directly opposes their worldview where self-interest and entitlement reign supreme. Generosity is seen as naive weakness that narcissists reject in favor of self-serving behaviors.

When might a narcissist be generous?

While narcissists are predominantly selfish when it comes to money, there are some situations where they may demonstrate generosity:

If it gains them public praise, status and admiration. Narcissists love being the centre of attention for their good deeds.
If it helps sustain their self-image as a respectable, prestigious person. They want to look good.
If it’s toward someone they want to impress or gain favor from. Their gifting is strategic and calculated.

If there is some other ego payoff for them. For example, the gratitude and validation others show in response to gifts.

In other words, most instances of narcissistic generosity are not genuine goodwill, but rather self-serving behaviors to gain something for themselves. Their “kindness” usually comes with strings attached.

Do narcissists judge others who are generous?

Narcissists are often very judgmental toward others who demonstrate generosity and community spirit. Some of the judgmental attitudes narcissists may display include:

Viewing generous people as “suckers” or fools who allow themselves to be taken advantage of.
Seeing generous people as virtue-signallers trying to make themselves look superior.
Assuming generous people have ulterior motives and want something in return.

Dismissing charitable contributions as wasteful or ineffective.
Mocking those who empathize with the misfortune of others.
Sneering at those who perform community service or volunteer work.

This stems from narcissists’ own selfish worldview and inability to understand why someone would voluntarily help others without some egoistic payoff. They are cynical about genuinely altruistic behavior.

Are there gender differences when it comes to narcissists and money?

Research suggests there may be some gender differences when it comes to the way narcissistic men versus narcissistic women use and relate to money:

Narcissistic men are more likely to spend money on themselves to show off wealth, status, and attract admirers.

Narcissistic women spend money on outward appearance including fashion, jewelry, and beauty treatments.
Narcissistic men may flaunt money through material possessions like cars, watches, and electronic gadgets.
Narcissistic women tend to carefully manage budgets to support their expensive lifestyles.

Narcissistic men prioritize making money; narcissistic women spending money to look affluent.

So narcissistic men and women both feel entitled to spend excessively on themselves. But narcissistic men focus more directly on accumulating wealth and showcasing it, while narcissistic women use money to enhance their beauty and social status. Both feel entitled to money but in slightly different ways. They are also similarly stingy about freely spending it on others.

Conclusion

In summary, research and expert opinion indicate that narcissists do tend to be stingy and tight-fisted when it comes to voluntarily spending money on others. This stems from their sense of entitlement, lack of empathy, and selfish behaviors. They are only generous when they themselves have something to gain. For the most part, narcissists view free generosity as a weakness that conflicts with their primary goal of serving themselves and their own interests.