The Kumari, also known as the Kumari Devi or Living Goddess, are pre-pubescent girls considered to be manifestations of the divine female energy or devi in Hinduism. They are worshipped as living goddesses primarily in Nepal, but also in parts of India and Tibet. When a Kumari reaches puberty, she loses her divine status and another pre-pubescent girl replaces her as the Kumari. This raises the question – are Kumari ever allowed to marry after their term as a living goddess ends?
Who are the Kumari?
The tradition of worshipping Kumari dates back to the medieval era in Nepal. The selection process for a Kumari is long and rigorous, involving various tests and rituals. Young girls from the Shakya caste, the Nepali Buddhist caste of goldsmiths and to which the Buddha belonged, are shortlisted through an examination of 32 attributes including an unblemished body, a chest like a lion and thighs like a deer.
The final Kumari is selected through rituals like the Kumari Chanegu, where the shortlisted girls are adorned as goddesses and made to sit on 32 different seats as scholars and priests chant hymns. The girl who remains calm and collected on most seats is selected as the living goddess.
Once a Kumari is selected, she moves into the Kumari Ghar, a palace in Kathmandu. She is worshipped by followers who touch her feet to receive her blessings. Her feet must never touch the ground until her term ends. The Kumari participates in various festivals and rituals in Nepal. Her blessings are considered highly auspicious.
When does a Kumari’s term end?
A Kumari holds her position until she reaches puberty and has her first period, at which point she loses her divine powers. This signifies the shift from childhood to womanhood when she becomes mortal once again. Her first period is celebrated through the Kumari Jatra festival which announces the end of her status as a living goddess.
The end of a Kumari’s term is determined by Buddhist astrologers who carefully study the Kumari for physical and behavioral changes. When she reaches puberty, as determined through astrological calculations, the Kumari participates in the Kumari Jatra festival before moving out of the Kumari Ghar to rejoin her family.
Once a Kumari’s term ends, the search begins for a new Kumari who will undergo the selection process and rituals to replace the outgoing Kumari as the manifestation of the goddess.
Are former Kumari allowed to marry?
There are various beliefs and myths around whether a former Kumari can marry after her term as living goddess ends.
| Belief | Explanation |
|---|---|
| Former Kumari remain unmarried | Some believe that once a girl is appointed as Kumari, she must remain unmarried for life even after her term ends. This is because she is considered wedded to the deity she represented. |
| Former Kumari can marry | Others believe that a Kumari is free to marry after her term ends, although finding a suitable match is difficult due to social stigma. |
| Former Kumari marry fellow former Kumari or deaf/mute grooms | Some believe that former Kumari can only marry either former Kumaris or deaf/mute men who cannot speak about the Kumari’s loss of virginity, in order to preserve their sanctity. |
These varying beliefs arise from different legends and interpretations of ancient traditions. Many communities have restrictive rules about former Kumari marrying as they want to preserve the sanctity and divine aura associated with the Living Goddess.
Historical Context
The tradition of Kumari dates back to the 6th century, when the nun Vajravārāhī was worshipped as a living goddess. Successive royal dynasties continued the tradition of anointing Kumari for protection and good fortune.
Several texts and scriptures mention restrictions on former royal Kumari marrying. The 14th century text Nepalamahatmya states that any man who marries a former Kumari will die. This amplified the belief that former Kumari must remain unmarried.
When King Pratap Malla reignended in the 17th century, hisastrologers insisted his daughter must be appointed Kumari to protect the kingdom. She remained Kumari for 7 years before marrying the son of King Prithvi Narayan Shah. This set a precedent for royal Kumari to marry after their term ended.
But commoner Kumari were still expected to remain unmarried. Their union with a deity made them celibate for life in the eyes of most Newar communities.
Cultural Influences
Various cultural influences shaped the restrictive rules around former Kumari marrying:
- The sanctity of a woman’s virginity before marriage in Hinduism led to the belief that a former Kumari loses her purity after her term ends, becoming unfit for marriage.
- Patriarchal norms made families wary of marrying their sons to a former Kumari, who was not considered an ordinary woman.
- Social stigmas emerged against former Kumari finding matches as people considered them taboo.
- Belief in the ill-fate that would befall families related to a former Kumari’s husband cemented restrictions around them marrying.
These regressive outlooks denied former Kumari the chance to reintegrate into normal social life through marriage and raising a family.
Modern Perspectives on Former Kumari Marrying
Over time, views on whether former Kumari can marry have become more progressive:
- The superstitious beliefs in misfortunes for families related to a former Kumari’s husband have faded in most communities.
- Social stigma around former Kumari has reduced, increasing their prospects of finding a partner.
- Former Kumari have started voicing their desire to marry and lead normal family lives after their term ends.
- Religious and social reformers advocate for the right of former Kumari to marry as they choose.
- Instances of former Kumari marrying, while still rare, are slowly increasing and further normalizing the practice.
However, conservative outlooks and restrictive practices still persist in many rural pockets of Nepal. Continued reform and progressivism is needed to truly emancipate former Kumari and give them autonomy over their marital choices.
Voices of Former Kumari
Many former Kumari have spoken about their lifelong desire to marry and how traditions prohibited them from doing so. Some key perspectives:
- Rashmila Shakya, former Kumari, wanted to marry but her family adhered to the belief that she must not marry.
- Dhana Bajracharya’s family believed she would remain unmarried but eventually relented. She married at age 27.
- Ujjwala Shakya married at age 29 after her family overcame social stigmas and agreed to find her a match.
- Urmila Shakya was forbidden from marrying but she defied tradition and eloped at age 17 with a man she loved.
These accounts show while restrictive practices exist, former Kumari are challenging conventions for their right to marry.
Conclusion
The traditions around Kumari and marriage reflect regressive social outlooks that deny women agency over their lives. But with modernization and social reforms, progress is being made. While restrictions still exist in parts of Nepal, the tide is turning with more former Kumari marrying after their term ends. However, there is need for continued evolution of outlooks to truly emancipate former Kumari and give them the autonomy to marry as per their wish. Their lives after being deified as Kumari must be self-determined.