Godparents have traditionally played an important role in many families, serving as mentors and caregivers for children if anything were to happen to their parents. While the tradition dates back centuries, some wonder if godparents are still as common today. There are good arguments on both sides.
What are godparents?
Godparents are people who agree to help guide and support a child spiritually and otherwise. Typically, godparents are chosen by the parents when the child is baptized as an infant. The godparents make a commitment to look after the child if anything should happen to the parents.
Historically, godparents were often relatives or close friends of the family who could provide care for the child financially and emotionally. They would serve as surrogates until the child reached adulthood. Godparents may also give gifts for milestones like baptism, first communion, confirmation, graduations, and weddings.
The origins and purposes of godparents
The tradition of godparents goes back centuries and served important purposes when infant mortality rates were high, people died younger, and social services were limited. Godparents provided an added layer of security in case children were orphaned at a young age.
Godparents were also intended to serve as role models and provide spiritual guidance. Particularly in Christian traditions, godparents made a commitment during baptism to assist in raising the child in the faith. Godparents promised to make sure children learned Christian doctrine, attended church, and lived a pious life.
Beyond serving as potential caregivers and spiritual mentors, godparents expanded social bonds. Godparents linked their friends’ or relatives’ children to other members of the community.
Godparent traditions across religions
While godparents are most commonly associated with Christianity, especially Roman Catholicism, the tradition appears in other faiths as well.
In Judaism, godparents are known as kvater or kvaterin. They have ceremonial duties during circumcisions, such as bringing the baby boy to the chair where the circumcision is performed.
In Islam, godparents are called naqeeb or naqeeba. They may be chosen to name the child, teach them the Quran, and help them follow Islam.
Hindu godparents are known as namak ghar. They usually give the child their official name during Hindu naming ceremonies.
Across these and other faiths, godparents serve as spiritual guides, supporters, and family allies.
The role of godparents today
Godparents remain fairly common today, though their roles may have evolved over time. Here are some of the key ways godparents still matter:
– Spiritual mentors – Godparents may attend religious services with their godchildren and teach them about spiritual matters. This is especially important in Christian traditions for preparation before first communion and confirmation.
– Caregivers if needed – While less vital today than centuries ago, godparents may still take custody of godchildren if the parents pass away or are unable to raise them for other reasons.
– Gift givers – Godparents often give gifts for their godchildren for baptisms, birthdays, holidays, graduations, weddings, and other occasions. These gifts mark milestones and provide ongoing support.
– Advisors and confidants – Godchildren may turn to their godparents for advice and counsel throughout their lives, developing strong personal bonds. Godparents act as trusted mentors.
– Emergency contacts – Parents may list godparents as emergency contacts or alternative guardians for school and medical purposes if they cannot be reached. This ensures godparents can step in when needed.
– Connection to family history – Godparents may share family stories, traditions, or heirlooms to deepen godchildren’s sense of family identity and belonging. This passes down values across generations.
So while godparents may not provide the extensive caregiving and financial support they did centuries ago, they continue to serve emotional, spiritual, and practical roles for many families.
Why have godparents fallen out of favor with some families?
Although godparents remain fairly common, they may be less universally embraced today for a few reasons:
– Lower infant mortality – Godparents are less vital as caregivers today because most children survive to adulthood. Government safety nets also help if children lose parents.
– Smaller families – Large extended families used to make godparents logical, but smaller modern families have less need for outside bonds.
– Increased mobility – Godparent relationships were built on close geography, but families move often today disrupting those ties.
– Secularization – Less religious activity among some families decreases emphasis on spiritual mentoring by godparents.
– Difficulty making commitments – Long-term godparent obligations may be hard for some families when they are uncertain about their futures.
– Concerns about overstepping – Some parents may wish to raise children independently without outside voices or caregivers influencing their development.
While the tradition has great longevity, godparent roles must adjust to match modern families. The bonds are not as automatically assumed today.
Considerations in choosing godparents today
For families who wish to uphold the tradition, selecting godparents requires some thought in the modern world:
– Values – Godparents should share the family’s values on important issues like religion to provide consistent guidance.
– Skills – Godparents can complement the parents’ skills and knowledge to fill any gaps.
– Temperament – Godparents with patience and compassion make the best guides for children.
– Age – Godparents should be old enough to serve in the role for the long haul but young enough to relate to children.
– Proximity – Closer godparents can be more present and available. But technology helps bridge any gap.
– Commitment – Godparents must take spiritual and any potential caregiving duties seriously. These are solemn responsibilities.
– Rapport – The child should feel comfortable with and be able to confide in their godparents. Mutual affection matters.
Choosing the right godparents can sustain this meaningful custom for both children and families.
Alternative modern godparent traditions
For secular families or those who want a more flexible approach, some creative alternatives to traditional godparents include:
– Guide parents – Chosen friends or family who will emotionally support the child, not necessarily provide full caregiving.
– Influence aunts/uncles – Like “aunt” and “uncle” for close adult role models in a child’s life who are not literal relatives.
– Mentors – Similar to godparents but focused on life guidance rather than spiritual instruction.
– Special friends – Adults outside the family chosen to take a special interest in the child’s life in an informal capacity.
– Volunteer babysitters/drivers – Those willing to provide childcare help and transport kids to activities and appointments as needed.
– Back-up guardians – Designated non-relatives who agree to care for the child if no parents are able to do so, without the full lifelong godparent commitment.
Rather than entering a formal spiritual contract, these creative alternatives allow more flexibility in choosing supportive adults for a child.
Conclusions
Here are some key takeaways about the state of godparent traditions today:
– Godparents used to provide vital caregiver support if children were orphaned but now mainly offer spiritual guidance and emotional bonds.
– Godparents remain fairly common, especially in religious families, though the lifelong commitment gives some modern families pause.
– Godparents today may be valued for gifting, advice, storytelling, and rituals, if not full surrogate parenting.
– Choosing godparents requires more consideration about shared values and availability when families are less tied to geography and community.
– More flexible informal mentors or special friends provide alternatives to godparents for secular or less traditional families.
– Godparent traditions remain meaningful when adapted to suit both modern children’s needs and families’ capacities for long-term commitments.
The ancient custom of godparenthood persists even as family structures evolve. For many, godparents continue to play a special role in nurturing children and anchoring them in tradition. But families can also customize the concept to work for those with different beliefs and lifestyles. Godparents remain a cherished tradition for 21st century families flexible enough to adapt with the times.